


And All I Loved (You Loved Alone)

by nanailliterate



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: I tried to stay within their personalities, M/M, also I'm not sure if i want to make baeri romantic or not, mafia, mafia!au, this ship is definitely one I sail but do I want it to sail in these waters?, who knows? you decide, with that in mind please be patient with this fic, you will understand why lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-09-10 14:17:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 40,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8920360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanailliterate/pseuds/nanailliterate
Summary: Kwon Jiyong, son of the notorious mafia, the Kwon Family, knew from the time he was able to put words into meaning that his future road along a predetermined course. When an opportunity arose for him to possibly change that course, allow him his freedom and humanity, he jumped at the chance to get it.He got a few other things as well.





	1. The Kwons

Jiyong signed quietly as he sat just outside of his fathers office, waiting for his appointment to start. The only thing keeping him rooted to the spot was the banal ticking coming from the clock on the wall.

Even after all these years, it still amazed him that he still had to make appointments just to talk to one of his parents. It wasn't that they didn't want to talk to him, but that they couldn't seem to make much time for him in the midst of their daily lives. They were always so busy that it was hard to find time to actually be a family - as if anyone outside of their situation would actually call them that. Under the best of circumstances,  Jiyong still felt as if his family was a business, and he was an employee for life.

As he dwelled in the study, playing nervously with his hands, his mind couldn't seem to be able to think of anything else besides just how true that statement could be in multiple ways.

Jiyong's father, Kwon Young Hwan, was the head of the Kwon Family Mafia, a family that was particularly powerful and had a strong holding in the city of Daegu. Although he was born in Seoul, their family moved cities to the smaller, yet still economically powerful city to avoid too much attention from the police force there. He was barely a couple weeks old when they moved, he didn't feel any ties to Seoul anyway.

There were six Families total that made up the Mafia that ran throughout South Korea - Daegu, Gwangju,  Daejeon, Busan, Incheon, and Ulsan, leaving many of the North West and western areas in relative peace and exclusion.  As for Seoul, there was no permanent Family that resided there. Instead, they all chose to oversee and have a hand at the operations held there since of how populated and frantic it was, much of the same reasoning that drew  Jiyong's family out in the first place, not to mention all the foreign travelers there that could greatly have an impact on their operations. More than that, the Families were power hungry by nature and didn't want anybody to have too much power or go ahead with their own plans in the Capital without consulting the rest first. It was better that Seoul remained unsettled, untainted.

Aside from Seoul and their collective duties for each city, each Mafia family had their own territory and responsibility as a "Family." The Kwon Family controlled the money flow that different parties bought and profited from within the drug trade, making them something like the middle-man for buyers and sellers. It made their family one of the more influential Families, since having that task was, arguably, one of the most important and crucial aspects of the entire business, not to mention the sole incentive for the Families to continue cooperating in the first place.

Although most of the Families had a hand in the illegal trade, they mostly oversaw the production, packaging, and exporting of the substance. The Kwon Family was one of the only Families that actually saw and controlled where and how the money was spent. In addition to that, they also managed the foreign trade of goods and "unattainable" rarities - and  Jiyong didn't have to ask what that really meant to know what it was - and were in charge of keeping the other Families connected so that there were no misunderstandings resulting in feuds between them, which meant frequently having to meet in various areas around South Korea, predominately Seoul, for conjoined meetings.

Although the Kwon Family wasn't the most violent or needlessly cruel clan out there and tried to keep most of their business in the house where they worked, they were notorious for being strategic and cunning if they were pushed to be so. That meant, if necessary, in the name of business and reputation, things could get very messy very quickly.

But this was never new to Jiyong. Even as a boy, though he may not have known the extent, he had always known his family was dangerous; dangerous in ways that not many people would think.

The messes his parents made may have been out of greed, self-preservation, or for "the good for the pack" mentality, but it was never out of senseless violence or hate. Rarely was it even them to, personally, ever inflict the damage. His father would never lay his own hands on a hit - he rarely even pointed a gun at a target - because he had people to do it for him.

That was what Jiyong always reminded himself in times when he felt distant from his family and their employment. Sometimes, it was the only way that  Jiyong could get to sleep at night.

Instead, his father spent a lot of time in the house, although he would seclude himself his study, playing God and pulling on the puppet strings of the countless workers loyal to him. Often times, the only indicator that his father was home at all was the ringing of the office phone and the smell of a cigar burning that traveled through the walls and vents, spreading the odor throughout the large, three story house.  Jiyong hated the smell of cigars but as he grew older, especially more often than not lately, the smell gave him comfort rather than bother and sicken him. At least his father was home and safe, not in harm's way, or out harming others.

Jiyong may have a strained relationship with his father, but he had always known that the man loved him, not because it was shown through physical affection or declarative words exchanged between them, but because  Jiyong and his siblings have always be taken care of, both financially, mentally, and physically. His father always made sure that his family was protected, living in a huge house with trusted and elite bodyguards surrounding both the outside perimeter of his home and the inside. He made sure that the house was stocked with fresh ingredients for the food that they ate, made sure that his children knew the importance of a healthy lifestyle, especially in the midst of what  Jiyong could call Hell.

Young Hwan often told his children that they were the reason he tried so hard in his business, to give them everything they could ever dream of, and even if it made  Jiyong feel guilty to no end to know that he and his siblings were the fuel that flamed his father's cunning mind and the blaze leading to destruction, it was heartwarming at the very least. If he didn't think about it too much.

Thankfully for Jiyong's psyche, his mother wasn't out in the streets doing dangerous jobs either. She was a small, petite woman who stayed home to cook and take care of his father, like a traditional housewife would do. But  Jiyong knew better, his mother was anything but traditional. When she hung up the chefs hat and apron and went out on her routes, she was a  mastermind  in a way that Jiyong thinks even his father envied. His mother would ride in the backseat of her beautiful (incredibly and almost painfully expensive) 2017 Jaguar XJ, a car that hadn't even been released to the public market yet, scanning the streets of the most luxurious shops and businesses in South Korea through the tinted black windows, sporting her black sunglasses that were really more for covering her face than to be protected from the sun.

She always instructed her driver when and where to stop, as her visits were never planned out exactly, everyone besides her would be surprised at her arrival. Although her visits were almost always impromptu, she usually only went to see her regulars or the businesses that she had heard were in financial or legal trouble.

It was incredible, actually. Once word would travel through the streets, every shopkeeper and businessman or women would be sure to be on alert, never the wiser of exactly who she would be visiting that day.

Jiyong wished he could see it for his own eyes and not through the words of one of the guards in his home; his mother stepping foot on the sidewalk, people surrounding and parting like the Red Sea, one offering greeting and another offering refreshments. She would smile, take the water, but otherwise stayed silent, the only sound to be heard were the clicking of her heels against the cement, until she was able to make her way into the shop or boutique and get down to business.

What Jiyong's mother did was crucial for their family's progress: connection. She rescued many businesses in risk of going bankrupt or from foreclosure, so she was a pro at setting up deals and getting favors from them in return. Every now and again, when she felt it was time based purely on instinct, she also made her rounds to visit stores to offer them protection in exchange for small monthly payments, which not many people refused when they had the Head's wife sitting right across from you.

However, although intimidating, she was kind in her smile and never asked for too much. That wasn't to say that people didn't know better; if she ever felt so inclined, she wouldn't hesitate to cash in that favor.

Jiyong knows of his family's business and exactly how they thrive and get things done, but he doesn't wish to take over when the times comes like his other sibling does. He was made of something different from the rest of his family, he was the outlier.

Jiyong, for all that he was loved and given affection, still felt like he didn't belong in his own home.

For the most part, he spent his days cooped up in his room feeling like a prince protected and hidden away from the world rather than the son of one of the most dangerous men in South Korea. He's doted on more than he'd like to admit, various people constantly trying to create new ways to impress him and his family. So many uncles and aunts and cousins - who, odds were, most of them weren't even related to him - had sweet talked or tried to entice him with objects and words so that they may have an impression and move up in the eyes of the soon-to-be Family Head. Even if he had wanted that future for himself, none of that meant anything to him, not when he has lost so much of his life to his father's cause already.

From the time that Jiyong was able to walk and talk, his parents, as well as the associates around his family, taught him how to hold his own and be alert to any signs of insubordination or danger, both directly and indirectly. These large men, dressed in black suits, sometimes ratty and wrinkled and other times pristine as if just off the shelf just depending on the day and the duty, with too many scars in visible areas, tried to mold him into another version of his father, giving him lessons to use for when he was older and running things. When they weren't whispering tips into his ear in a subtle attempt to train him, then he would learn just by watching the men do business.

He still remembers the days when he was like the second shadow of his father, never wanting to be apart from him for more than a hour. He would sit under the man's desk, playing with simple toys like blocks or action figures, but listening with great attentiveness while his father talked through meetings and negotiations. He listened while his father made small, little-risk business transactions and preparations for larger feats. He would remember mimicking the older man with his action figures, always pretending that his father was some hero out to save the world. At the time and in  Jiyong's book, it wasn't far from the truth.

As Jiyong grew up and his father put some space between them, since Jiyong wasn't so naive and trusting anymore, his problems were less about being programmed to be Mob leader and more about the fact that he, basically, lived like he was in a cage.

He had grown up being a pretty solitary kid, though not by his own wishes. Even now, just passing his second decade of life, he was still not allowed to go outside or talk to strangers, nor was he allowed to have any kind of social networking account or any other device that could put him on someone's radar.

In a lot of ways, he mused to make himself feel better, it made some sense.

Everyone knew of his family, which could be very dangerous because of the possibility being brought in by the cops based on piled up evidence and credible witnesses. Thankfully no cop has ever been able to find enough evidence to actually arrest his father or mother. Their family had loyal relatives and friends that would lie, and much worse, to protect them. As for the locals, it was common knowledge that if you were not an enemy of the Kwon Family, then you may as well be a friend. For all the trouble they may cause, the Kwon family took care of the city. Similar to the criminal organizations of Italian or Sicilian heritage, there was no fear in the streets of Daegu, because for all intents and purposes,  Jiyong's father was not a villain to the public. If you didn't cross them, there was no need to worry about them. To most, he was a man who had risen up to take the position of the Head of his Family - despite having two older brothers who wanted that position as badly as he did - to keep the city under control and protect the civilians who lived there. He was known as Samchon to the children and as a Godfather in the eyes of their parents. He was a gracious man that had a wife who helpfully took care of failing businesses and restored them to the glory they once were. The only thing they ask for is a favor when they need it.

Still, despite how well-liked his parents were in their city and the fact that they were rarely ever put at an actual risk,  Jiyong was never allowed to wander outside, especially not alone.

Jiyong felt the affects of the hold his family's business had on him everyday, has felt it since the day he was born. Although he was a bit of  a shy child, he loved to be around people, warm people, that he could make laugh and entertain. He loved to be the center of attention, loved to be loved. When he grew older, though, he realized that his desire to interact with the outside world wasn't going to be fulfilled if his father had his way.

Jiyong was home schooled up until the age of 8 when he passionately and quite successfully whined to his parents enough to put him in school with "regular kids." His nagging paid off eventually and he was put into a very secure private school. As soon as he stepped foot in the institution, he had damn near made it his life's mission to try to play with the other kids and was quick to befriend anybody.

It wasn't very hard, people naturally flocked to him. That was, until the other kids got a good look at who was always standing behind him.

At the time, he didn't understand why the children were timid around the two men dressed in black suits that followed him everywhere. His father told him that they kept him safe. They were his bodyguards, his most trusted guardians. They were dedicated and powerful, and in terms of strength, surpassing even his actual parents.

It didn't take him long to grasp what the problem was for his classmates. He noticed that, despite both he and his classmates being financially wealthy and considered to be high class elites, they were, in fact, different. While his classmates had families wealthy by (more or less) honest living, his family was involved in dirty politics. His classmates had fathers and mothers as CEOs, politicians, police officers, and civil leaders. His father was the man that the police officers were trying to catch, the man politicians vowed to put away in order to clean up the streets. His classmates had fathers that killed in the name of the law, while his father killed so he wouldn't be caught by it.

Even if, by some miracle, the other children had no idea of his family or his background, the two shadows always not too far from him made it almost impossible for him to connect with his fellow students. While it was normal to have bodyguards in his school because of the importance of the children attending, his bodyguards were actually men  Jiyong knew as uncles and close friends of the Family that had been trained and paid to look after young  Jiyong. They were covered in tattoos, scars where their bodies were exposed, and had nasty glares on their faces, warning that if anybody tried anything, they would do whatever they had to, to get the situation back in their favor. The other classmates' bodyguards were clean cut, looking rigid and poised and not like over-protective family members. The comparison really made it hard for  Jiyong to find friends willing to overlook this.

It was easy to say that the children had very mixed feelings about Jiyong. There were those who were afraid of him, stayed away from him as if he would, right then and there, do some kind of criminal activity, which to a bunch of kids could be stealing toys or bullying during activity time, despite his shining eyes and bashful, genuine smile.

However, Jiyong soon discovered that there were far worse things in life than people being afraid of you.

There were some children who did not hide or run from him when he asked to play, but instead leered at him and gave him awful looks, saying things about how  "my daddy is going to take  your daddy away to jail, mob-son!" Jiyong always wanted to have friends that would give him a nickname, but not like this. He hated being called this, especially when it was said with such disgust.

Jiyong never gave up though, each grade he would try to find friends. He would share lunch, share toys, share his supplies. He would play any games they wanted to play, let them take their first pick in the toy box. He had even let this little girl he met during playtime in the third grade play hairdresser on him, he had sat so still as she took a pair of scissors and cut his bangs, saying that his pretty eyes shouldn't be hidden behind his hair. He had come out of that disaster with uneven hair all around and a pretty good sized bald spot on the top of his head that he had to work years on to hide. There was another instance in the fourth grade where he allowed himself to be used as a personal notepad while a couple boys drew on him, on his arms and legs, his cheeks and eyelids. And he did so with a smile on his face, because  Jiyong had always wanted to be a part of playtime. He would sacrifice anything, would give the other kids his own toys and bagged-lunch just to be liked. His advances at friendship did work a few times, for a while, between the ages of 8 and 13 when kids were still persuaded by possessions and food.

However, those friendships never lasted long. If in the beginning of the year he found a couple friends, almost a few weeks later he would be back down to none. And when he was older, the kids just got meaner. They no longer were persuaded by anything that  Jiyong had to offer. They made fun of him, poked at him, toyed with him, and moved on with their day as if  Jiyong was a bug that they swatted away - another problem taken care of and forgotten.

For this reason, the young heir was very lonely in school, and although his bodyguards have time and time again offered to "take care of the situation" with the bullies or try to convince him that "school life for the regular" was not worth it, he still gave it his all. Despite his loneliness, he enjoyed learning and going to classes. He liked the topics his teachers would teach him, enjoyed going to math class and figuring out equations all by himself, going to art class and creating beauty out of nothing but granite and paint, going to history and government class and reading about wars, policies, and justice - something that his family tries so hard to evade. Senior year, he was heartbroken and torn when Graduation Day crept upon him, even if his parent's looked as if it was the best day of their lives.

He tried so hard in school, both academically and socially. It made him proud to know that he truly wanted this life for himself - the safe life, that is. It wasn't just a fascination or curiosity that drove his desire to live among "normal citizens." It is the actual yearning to be a part of their world, with pets and sunshine and dates, and not this dark life that his parents gave him, no matter how well-meaning they were.

That is why it makes him nervous being here, now. He's not nervous because he was scared of his dad, in fact he had a very special place in his heart for his father, after all he literally puts his life on the line for his work. He was scared, though, of the impending conversation that his father would try to have with him.

It wasn't a huge mystery of why he was sitting here, watching the clock strike 12:56 pm, exactly four minutes until he would be called into his father's study. His father did this to him regularly. Twice every three weeks his father would call him into his study to talk about how school was going, if he had an success in making new friends (the answer was almost always no), and then to check up on how his sister was doing, since he was convinced his oldest daughter thought herself too adult to talk to him openly anymore. These were just preliminary's, though, for the real question was just dawning upon him.

"Are you going to go in or not?"

Jiyong jumped in his seat at the voice interrupting his thoughts. "Oh, yeah, sorry Chaerin. I didn't notice you calling my name."

He bowed politely at his father's secretary. Even though his father really didn't need one, Chaerin had been a friend of the family for many years. She was very nice to  Jiyong and was straight up with him when she needed to be. She was also very pretty, not to mention smart and eager to bring her ideas forward if asked to. His father had spoken many times about  Jiyong asking her out on a date, saying she would make a good future wife. He always turned down that idea with a grimace. If anything, he looked at her like a cousin.

Chaerin rolled her eyes fondly, "Honestly, you guys make the same appointment at the same time regularly, why are you always surprised when I tell you he's ready for you?"

Jiyong grinned back in the way that he knows makes him look cute, less blame-worthy, which worked because she just sighed and went back to filing some papers with a small smile on her face.

He stood up and knocked softly on his father's door, not having to wait more than a few seconds before he heard his father telling him to come in. As he walked in, he noticed that his father looked a little more tired than usual. Their family's line of business was pretty stressful just in and of itself, but usually his father took care of himself, or at least made it seem like he did.

"Good to see you," Young Hwan smiled, standing up and taking Jiyong by the shoulder to give him a brief hug, "How have you been?"

"Alright, just trying to find something to do with my free time, as usual." Jiyong shrugged as if it was nothing, because to his father, it may as well be nothing. Jiyong already knew what his father really wanted to know.

"Right, that's- well that's nice." His father commented, obviously not all that curious, sitting down and crossing his arms on the desk, "Son, have you considered taking me up on my offer? I mean, serious consideration. You are getting older,  Jiyong, and your mother and I had granted your wish of enrolling in school. We've been patient and understanding, but you graduated almost a year ago, and I hear from your mother that you're looking to apply to some universities in the Spring. That,  Jiyong, was not a part of our deal."

And there it is, no preamble or small talk supplied this time. Jiyong bit his lip and pouted, his mother may be a truly astonishing and intelligent woman, but damn if she didn't have a huge mouth when it came to her husband and her children.

"I just threw around the topic of college. We only had a few minutes together. I just told her I was considering it, after all I did finish school for a reason."  Jiyong said quietly. It wasn't totally untrue. He did only mention it to his mother, and he was only just considering it. What his father didn't know was actually how serious this consideration actually was. "You did tell me to take a year off so I could consider my options, college is one of them."

"What is there to consider, Jiyong?" His father ran one hand over his face, as if this was a conversation that was tiring him out, which it probably was, "I am  trying with you, to understand, to give. But I am getting older, and men like me do not live very long in this line of work. I need someone to take over for me when I am gone."

Jiyong shut his eyes briefly. He hated when his father spoke like this. It made him tremble, just the thought of losing his father. They may not be as close as he would like and his father may not understand his wishes, but in their own twisted way, they loved each other. He knew that his father would take a bullet for him any day.

"Please, father-" Jiyong begged. He could usually handle these parts of the conversation when it was just about how  Jiyong better 'straighten up and take responsibility of this family' but when his father spoke about his death, very much impending and very much possible any day, it was as if he couldn't get enough air in his lungs. He couldn't handle it. "Dad, don't speak like this. I love you, you'll be fine."

When Jiyong finally met his father's eyes, he was surprised that he was looking at him with a soft yet sullen expression. " Jiyong," Young Hwan got up from his seat and came to stand by Jiyong, leaning against the desk. He gently cupped his son's cheek in a fatherly display of affection that  Jiyong hadn't seen in a long while. "Your heart and intentions are as unsullied as the first years you were born, aren't they? I cannot believe that you have stayed as such, being a part of this family and all. We are blessed."  Jiyong leaned into his touch briefly, as he knew his father wouldn't let the moment last long. "I have much love for this family, and I can only hope that that love and devotion is reciprocated." At this,  Jiyong nodded his head vigorously, making his father smile. "But," he paused, hand retracted, "that love will not halt my demise."

Jiyong looked down, silent. There didn't seem like there was anything he could say to that.

Young Hwan sighed, "I am asking you to consider taking my position as Head of the Family, which is not a new proposition. I am, however, asking you do something that I believe you have not yet done, and that is to actually take my proposition to heart. Really think about it  Jiyong, because all these years I have been asking with the belief that you would do the right thing, but I do not believe that I will continue to only ask much longer."

At this, Jiyong picked up his head and looked at his father, a sinking feeling in his stomach. His father has always given him the choice of accepting or denying if he should take over once he is gone. It is his rightful position, being the eldest son (the only son, in his family's case). He's never wanted it though and fully believed that he had a say in the matter. It was hard to think that all this time, his father was truly expecting him to say yes, in the end and after all. And soon, his father wasn't going to be giving him a choice anymore.

Jiyong broke out into a sweat, feeling like his father's eyes were boring into his soul, looking at the vulnerability and tenderness that will never belong in such a rough place as this. He needed to get out of there, now. He could feel his breath coming out faster, small puffs gradually increasing in their frequency. "Yeah- yes father. I will consider it. I know, I have thinking to do. I promise."

He got up and left the room swiftly. His promise doesn't feel like a promise. It felt like a death sentence.

He ignored Chaerin's questioning call of his name and ran down the stairs leading away from his father's study, leaping and jumping two steps at a time. His father's study was on the third story floor and it took all the willpower he had to get to the kitchen on the first floor before he could break down in tears. Once there, he started desperately wheezing for air, willing the wetness in his eyes to not cascade down his cheeks. He cradled his head in his arms, then placed his head on the cooper counter tops, letting the coolness of the surface relax him. Once his breath was back under control, he picked his head up and went to get himself a glass of water, still thinking of his father's words.

He knew he couldn't rule as Head of the Kwon Family, he just couldn't. It wasn't in his DNA, not in his blood. He remembered when he was younger, his grandmother would sit him on her lap and pinch his chubby cheeks. She called him her sunshine, told him he took all the clouds away from her. He remembered that, when he was growing older and grew embarrassed of his grandmother's nickname, he had asked her why she was so adamant about the whole thing. For the first time in his little 11 years of life, she looked at  Jiyong without a smile on her face, but with one of sadness. Jiyong had never been exposed to much sadness from his family before. They always made sure to keep a very pleasant front. So when he witnessed his grandmother with a saddened expression, he immediately felt a burning feeling of guilt deep in his gut. Cupping her cheeks in his small hands, he shook his head.

"Grandma," he had said meekly to her, "Don't be sad. You can still call me your sunshine. I'm sorry, okay?"

She smiled at him and took his hands in hers. "I know, my love. You'll take the clouds away, I'm sure of it."

He didn't understand what she meant by that, always thought she was talking about the way a smile would always be worn on his face or how he brought it upon himself to entertain family guests when they visited. Now, he knows that she means it in a deeper way than just being goofy around company. He was the sunshine of her life. She has always been worried and afraid for her son and daughter-in-law, for their lives were always put in danger. When they had Dami, followed by  Jiyong, she had worried about the safety of her grandchildren, too. She knew that they had to grow up a certain way to survive in the family, but extremely sad to witness.

Jiyong's sister wasn't malicious, but she was eager to have some power for herself, to take on a portion of Family business, to strike some fear because people feared  her and not her father. But Jiyong, he was proof that even in the darkest of times, there will be light. Even though  Jiyong was born with a responsibility and weight on his shoulders too heavy to bare, the darkness never touched him. He didn't let it consume him, or anyone else. If his father was having trouble getting cooperation from a neighboring Family or if his mother was having trouble with a potential business ally,  Jiyong would be there with reassuring eyes and a beautiful smile. He shone, and made them all shine in his presence.

Jiyong looked down at the empty glass in his hands. Was this all then? All of his efforts for nothing, none of it mattered? He would hate to let his grandmother down, hate to lose that sunshine he had promised her to always have.

As Head, he didn't see any source of light there.

Sighing and disposing the empty cup in the sink for someone else to clean, as he had the luxury of not having to clean up after himself much, he went back upstairs, this time heading to the second floor where his room was. He walked down the hall passing Dami's room. He could hear her music playing from the stereo, she was probably inside sketching designs - one of her lighter hobbies when she wasn't trying to impress their father. It made him smile, even if it was only small, twinged with reserved sadness.

Dami was older than him, but age didn't matter in this case. Because he was the eldest son, the weight fell onto him, no matter how capable Dami was. Her intellect and competence for their family business took a backseat to the traditional ideal that a man was to be Head, even if said man didn't want anything to do with the position.

When Dami and Jiyong were forced to sit in on some Family meetings their parents negotiated, while his sister listened obediently, he would sink in his chair, deflating visibly with every word his father spoke. At the end of every meeting, she would grab a hold of his hand and squeeze his fingers gently, ignoring her own pain of being second to their father to comfort  Jiyong. Dami's love was something Jiyong felt he didn't fully deserve, but took anyway, greedy for the sisterly advice and care that she gave so willingly.

He eventually made his way into his own bedroom, gently closing the door and locking it. He didn't expect anybody to come in, people usually never bothered him save for Dami, but he felt safe doing it. Having his door locked was one of the only times he felt safe anymore. Not even having the comfort of his bodyguards around soothed him like they once used to.

He picked up his phone and contemplated calling one of the few friends he made in his lifetime. Seunghyun was the son of a trusted Family Head - the Lee Family. He was three years younger than Jiyong, but Jiyong barely noticed the difference anymore, though he liked to boast it often. They had met when his father needed to meet with  Seunghyun's father one weekend about six years ago, which was a perfect time because Jiyong was experiencing great loneliness in school and hadn't bounce back like he normally could.

If Seunghyun's Family wasn't as close or trusted as they were, it would be out of the question that Jiyong join his father to the home of another Family. As it was, Young Hwan considered Seunghyun's father, Kyunghee, like a brother. They had the same thoughts and opinions on many things regarding the transportation and distribution on the rare goods they sell to foreign countries, so they were more often and not on the same side of the issues when they present it to the other Families. There have been many times when the Kwon Family and Lee Family had to fight tooth and nail to get the other Families to even consider their ideas.

That day, Jiyong had tagged along only because he had heard rumors from some of the men and women that frequently spend their time at Lee Family House that Seunghyun was a friendly and sweet boy, unlike so many of the other snobby children. It wasn't unlikely or uncommon for Family children to find friendship among themselves, since they had similar backgrounds and protocols to follow, but  Jiyong found the other children to be too selfish, too conniving, or too dull. He'd rather stay alone than try to place himself in a group like that.

Jiyong had been nervous at first, afraid of the rejection that he had grown so accustomed to, so when the two fathers stood in front of each other, their sons on each side, he kept his head down, like he was always taught. However, as soon as he decided to muster up the courage to look  Seunghyun in the face, he practically melted on the spot. Seunghyun was so  _cute_.  He was dressed in relaxing daytime sweats, how he managed to convince his father into doing that Jiyong had no idea, as the children of Family's had to uphold a respectable image for the sake of future reputation. But the young boy had dark circles under his eyes and chubby cheeks that  Jiyong was absolutely dying to pinch already.

When Kyunghee was finished greeting Young Hwan and Jiyong into their home, Seunghyun looked from his father to Jiyong. In a polite but refrained tone, he had introduced himself and held out of his hand.  Jiyong grinned and stepped forward, reaching out for the hand. Seunghyun had taken it with a strong grip and almost rattled Jiyong to the core with how much strength he put into it. Jiyong couldn't help but snort at this little 11 year old kid, trying to be a man.

Young Hwan chuckled and apologized for Jiyong's impolite actions (something that he was always doing that always managed to put  Jiyong in a bad mood), but he didn't mind this time because Seunghyun was spluttering about, dumbfounded that someone - a stranger - would actually have the audacity to laugh at him in his own home.  Jiyong found it exceptionally endearing.

Young Hwan and Kyunghee didn't stick around for very much longer, leaving to go negotiate business elsewhere and leaving the two young boys alone.  Seunghyun had been weary of Jiyong at first, what with that sort of introduction and all, but soon enough Jiyong got him to open up after a couple of apologies and earnest smiles.

Seunghyun was actually very charming, even at such a young age. When he was relaxed, he could actually be called downright dorky, with his explosive gestures and unending excitement. Before long, they were playing games in  Seunghyun's room and talking as if they had known each other for years, at least that's what Jiyong felt.  Jiyong hadn't felt that kind of joy and acceptance to anyone outside of his own immediate family.

Needless to say, Jiyong felt a strong connection towards Seunghyun. It was only when he mentioned that  Seunghyun was his first-ever best friend, in the middle of changing one video game to another, that  Seunghyun looked up at Jiyong and blinked. At first Jiyong felt dread run through his veins, realizing that was a pretty intense title for someone that he'd only just met. He thought that he scared  Seunghyun off, as he was frequently told he came on a little strong and his personality a little intimidating. But  Seunghyun only smiled at him and shook his head, telling Jiyong that he didn't have many friends either, but only because everyone he had to hang out with were a bunch of "assholes."  Jiyong had gasped out a laugh, loving how this baby-faced kid had an off-color, almost raunchy, sense of humor and told him he had experienced similar situations.

After Seunghyun had beaten Jiyong too many times at one video game to still be considered fun, they had bonded over their families and how much of a bother it was to always do what was best for the group. At the end of the day,  Jiyong didn't want to leave Seunghyun's house and almost gave his father a migraine with how much begging he was doing to be able to sleep over that night. But  Seunghyun had assured him, in all his preadolescent confidence, that they were best friends now, and that meant that they could hang out at each others houses all the time. He told  Jiyong that he could even call him Seungri now, which made Jiyong laugh and punch him in the shoulder, telling him to stop bragging. But it didn't bother  Jiyong in the slightest, it was great to have someone he could call by a nickname without it being cruel and taunting - a friend.

That was six years ago and although much has changed, the quality of their friendship has not. If anything, it has only gotten stronger through the more serious discussions about their futures that often kept them up at night.

Jiyong picked up his phone from underneath his pillow where he kept it, since he didn't use it all that often anyway, and called  Seungri. It didn't take long for the younger boy to pick up, muttering a soft, "Mhm?" over the receiver.

"Napping?" Jiyong questioned. It seemed that Seungri was sleeping a lot these days, not to any fault of his own. He was feeling left out, if not a tad bit neglected, by his family. He was the youngest of three sons, and spent most of his time alone because of it. Unlike the second oldest, his father told him that he wouldn't be have to be prepped for head, since the possibility of having both brothers unable to take the position was slim to none. It's not that  Seungri wanted that responsibility, he really didn't, but it was heartbreaking to be ignored by his family since all of his father's time was put into training his two older brother's about the business. It made for a quiet house.  It also didn't help that Seungri, naturally, was a complete hog for attention. Jiyong doesn't blame him for spending most of his days in another land of dreams.

"Yup. I figured no one would miss me much if I just checked out for a few hours." Seungri yawned, "Since  someone hasn't called me in, like, twenty years. What the hell, man?"

Jiyong didn't have to be in the same room as Seungri to know that he was frowning, sleepy eyes trying to open one at a time, like the lazy lump he was. He did feel guilty though. It wasn't his intention to become distant from  Seungri. They had spent a lot of time together for the first six months of graduation, but once that halfway mark on his Free Year ended, he had been so stressed out about trying to find a university to throw himself into and finding time to see his family that he supposed he'd abandoned  Seungri a bit.

"Yeah I'm sorry about that. But it's only been like four and a half months, not twenty years, so stop being so dramatic."  Jiyong quipped.

Seungri gave a small 'humph' over the receiver, "Whatever. I know where our relationship stands."

Jiyong rolled his eyes and laid down on the bed. "Yes, we all know that we hate each other. Anyway, come over. I have things to tell you."

"Oh so you only called me because you needed someone to listen to you?"

"Obviously."

"Whatever, I'll be right over. I have stuff to tell you too. Nothing serious." He paused, and Jiyong heard some ruffling around and a bump. "Honestly, nothing really important at all."

"Uh, okay?" Jiyong didn't even want to question it. The kid was weird and Jiyong wasn't about to start a full-fledged investigation about what he was talking about this time, "See you soon."

He hung up the phone and smiled to himself. Seungri was always someone he could talk to. He needed his best friend to confide in, because he knew his life was going to change. He just wasn't sure in which direction it would take him.

 

 

~~~

(So apparently the end notes are not working for the first chapter so I'll just it here.)

(Shout out to Edgar Allan Poe for the title)

Sorry this chapter was so long and detailed (although this is where I flourish... agonizing detail FTW) but there was a lot I wanted to get out there straight in the beginning to allow the following chapters to flow naturally. This is going to be a LONG ride people, so get comfy and let's hope I finish this thing! Scream at me on tumblr (nanailliterate) and I will scream at you back.


	2. Attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has an action scene in it where there are depictions of violence, blood, and death. It's nothing too graphic, detailed, or disturbing, but just a warning for those who are sensitive to this kind of material.
> 
> Enjoy!

Jiyong had never felt so grateful to have Seungri at his beck and call before until now, since it only took him around 20 minutes for his phone to chime from the younger boy, telling him to open the front door because he was going to be there soon and  _ was not _ going to wait outside.

Rolling his eyes, Jiyong made his way down the stairs quicker than usual, eager to catch his best friend up on the recent events. That, and he had to admit he missed him, just a little.

He threw the front door open and in no time at all he was wrapped up in big arms and a body that smelled like way too much cologne.  Seungri clutched onto Jiyong for a couple more seconds and Jiyong let himself enjoy it, resting his forehead on the side of  Seungri's head. He took in a breath and smiled at the distinct familiarity there, even if the cologne did make him want to gag a bit.  Seungri gave the smaller man a couple pats on the back and Jiyong knew how much he needed this right now, probably just as much as he needed it too. He couldn't bring it in himself to feel too embarrassed about it, they are each others loyal companion, greatest consultant, and most entertaining fool.

"I'm going to let go now, don't be too sad." Seungri said.

Jiyong scoffed and shoved the other away. "And that's why we don't hug often." Seungri laughed as he was shoved away, tripping his way into the wall. Jiyong was going to help stabilize him when a movement by the front door caught his eye.

Usually, Jiyong never paid any attention to Seungri's bodyguards, as he had so many himself, they all just seemed to blur their way into the background, but this one was someone who had his attention. He's definitely new, Jiyong had never seen this one before, he's sure of it. This guy is unlike any of the other bodyguard  Jiyong has even ever seen before.

First of all, in a completely unaffected fashion, Jiyong just so happens to notice that this guy is pretty attractive. He's dressed in all black, like guards usually are, but instead of a suit, he looks much more casual in a black button up, black pants and shoes, along with a sleek black jacket. He isn't stoic like the rest of the guards he usually sees, either. He's looking around the house with curiosity, looking at the pictures hung up around the house and checking out what kind of furniture they have, taking his time shutting the door. He isn't tall or big, and he doesn't really look all the menacing either except for the eyes that look a little scrutinizing.  Jiyong raised an eyebrow in confusion at Seungri, "That's your bodyguard?"

Before Seungri even gets the chance answer, the bodyguard lets Jiyong know that he is and that, apparently is also  _ very _ qualified for his job,  _thanks_.

Jiyong snorts without thought, taken aback a little bit, because bodyguards don't speak to other people like that, not people they work for. In fact, they hardly ever open their mouth at all. However, this one can't seem to be bothered with keeping his mouth shut, not that  Jiyong particularly minds it.

Seungri rolled his eyes and slung an arm around the new guy's shoulder, Jiyong's eyebrows shot all the way up to his hairline in surprise. "Oh! This is Youngbae. He's my new bodyguard. The last one was a real jerk. Like, one time, he told me that I couldn't go to the store to get some beer because there may be an assassin in the store.  Really? An assassin, waiting for me to enter a 7/11. What kind of lame ass excuse is that? He did shit like that all the time. Didn't care about anything unless my dad was around. I got tired of it."

Jiyong nodded his head as if he understood Seungri's frustration, which he kind of does, but also, he's still lost. "Cool." He shakes his head, trying to get back on track. "I mean, weird. You guys are friends?"

The man in black gave a faint shrug. "Well-"

"Obviously." Seungri corrected. "Honestly, don't listen to him. He teases me and then says we're not friends. He's not that great of an employee."

Youngbae put Seungri in a headlock, "Treat me with respect, punk."

Seungri choked as he was brought down and laughed manically, tapping on Youngbae's forearms to be released. "It's true!"

Youngbae released him easily and settled back to give Jiyong and Seungri some space, "Sure. Anyway, I will go back to being your guard now."

Seungri gave a thumbs up and turned to Jiyong, "Upstairs?"

Jiyong nodded his head, still a little dazed, and turned to Youngbae. "If you want, you can go in the living room and watch some TV, or there's newspapers on the table in front of the couch. Make yourself comfortable."  Jiyong offered the man.

Youngbae nodded in understanding with a kind smile, obviously more reserved than how he had been with Seungri, but friendly all the same. He began walking in the direction Jiyong pointed out was the living room only when he confirmed that Jiyong and  Seungri were heading upstairs, knowing they'd be safe inside the house.

As soon as the two entered Jiyong's bedroom, Jiyong could feel himself begin to relax all at once. He was with one of his favorite people in the world, which was hardly an over-exaggeration, in a place that he felt the most comfortable.

"Thanks for coming, not that you wouldn't want to come since you told me you missed me, but thanks for coming on short notice."  Jiyong grinned, laying out on his bed.

"Whatever," Seungri grumbled. "Hey, make room for me. You take always take up so much space for such a small person," the younger man said, pushing  Jiyong to only a corner of his very large, Queen-sized mattress. "And what else was I going to do? I wanted to introduce Youngbae to you anyway."

"Yeah," Jiyong paused, "about that, how is he exactly qualified to be your bodyguard? My dad won't even consider hiring anybody that's not at least double my age and part of the Family.  Youngbae looks like he's, what, a couple years older than you?"

"To be fair, he's about three years older than me, so that's a good enough for me," Seungri said, unworried, "And it wasn't easy getting him to say yes to hiring  Youngbae, or anybody that was young for that matter."

"Wow, not even your annoying whining got to him? Or that weird face you do when you try to pout and look sad but fail?"  Jiyong imitated what he described, making Seungri cringe so hard his face might have morphed completely.

Seungri sank down into the pillow after rearranging his face, shook his head and sighed, tone dimming noticeably. "My dad hardly even looks at my face anymore, probably doesn't even care to see me at all."  Jiyong felt sorrow for his friend deep in his stomach. Jiyong knew, and deep down Seungri knew too, that both of their families loved them, but the pressure of trying to always fulfill their wishes and the disappointment in their own life choices made a barrier come up between them and their fathers. Even as adults, and probably  _ more _ as adults, it still hurt. "Anyway, I didn't have to do anything like that. I just used logic to- Jiyong, don't look so surprised.”

Jiyong couldn't really help it.

"You see," Seungri continued, only after making sure Jiyong wiped the smirk off of his face, "I was just so sick of all these old guys following me around and not really giving a damn about my well-being. At least your dad got trusted guards to watch you. All of my guards were more like strangers than family, just people that looked good on a resume, but they didn't care about me. They just wanted a good standing with my dad." Seungri frowned. "Anyway, I couldn't handle that anymore. And Youngbae really cares about me, both my life and my interests."

Jiyong stared up at the ceiling, "How'd you even meet him, anyway?"

"His father is some kind of sports trainer for special athletes in Japan. Apparently he's the real deal, and I think my dad found a good friend in him. If he wasn't and my dad didn't like him as much as he did, I don't think my dad would have wasted his time with him. Anyway,  Youngbae had been trained to be an athlete, but since my father and Youngbae's father were such close friends and even had done some business together,  Youngbae's dad thought it would be a good idea to train him in more defense skills, too, I guess just in case  Youngbae or his family was ever in danger because of their connection with us."

"I didn't know your dad liked anybody outside of the Families." Jiyong commented, immediately feeling guilty when  Seungri flashed a look of sadness. He didn't mean to remind Seungri of how cold his father could be at times, but sometimes he had a hard time watching what he said before he said it.

"Yeah, well, he liked Youngbae's family. So I guess when I told him that I had been interested in a younger bodyguard that I could actually connect with, it wasn't hard for us to decide on  Youngbae. He went through a little bit more of some precised training just for special situations, but he was already really good at what he does before I even met him." Then, Seungri smiled a genuine smile, something that Jiyong didn't see often when he's talking about personal matters. "And the first day I met  Youngbae, I really liked him. He was asking me really personal questions, like what I like to do during the day and what my predicted schedule would be like, but it didn't feel like he was interviewing or scanning me as a client. He told me that he wanted to protect me the best he could, that he cared about me and my family."

Jiyong quirked an eyebrow out of habit. Very rarely has an employee of the Family ever really brought personal agendas into their work. If they were protecting you, the last thing they would ever say was that it was because they cared about you.

Seungri chuckled at Jiyong's expression. "Yeah, I know."

"Anyway," the younger man continued, "after that, he was asking me questions about my hobbies, what kind of food I liked to eat, and whatever else popped up in his head. Who cares about stuff like that? We haven't known each other for a long time, but I feel better about Youngbae than the other guys before. Like, there was this one time last week when I was going to the car because my family had a meeting with a neighboring Family, and I just wasn't watching where I was going and almost got hit by a car. It was stupid of me, but  Youngbae pushed me out of the way just in time, he sprained his arm. It's not bad, but when I was trying to apologize about him getting hurt, he told me that he was just afraid that  I would get hurt. Do you know how many time's I've heard that in my life?"

Jiyong knew that he had never heard that in his own life.

"Yeah, I know what you're thinking, I've never heard it either. I don't feel like a job to him, he told me. That's all I've ever been to everybody else. I've never felt as protected, or as  important, as I feel with him."

Jiyong was genuinely happy for Seungri, if not a bit envious. The bond between a bodyguard and the person he or she was supposed to be protecting may have been nothing but professional, but it was strong nonetheless. For  Seungri to find someone he could trust completely, without the promise of good familial graces, that was rare.  Jiyong wondered if he'd ever get someone to risk their life for him the way Youngbae does for Seungri. Not because he has to because it's his job, but because he genuinely cares for him and his family, not _t_ _he _ Family. Jiyong frowned a little bit, shaking his head.

"You're lucky." Jiyong said, turning his body to face Seungri head on, "While you get Youngbae to shadow you and hang out with, I'm stuck with two guys that smell like fish and won't even look at me in the eyes unless they have to."

"I could use some fish," Seungri said absentmindedly, rubbing his stomach. Jiyong punched him in the gut.

"What the- I'm just hungry! I'm listening, damn." Seungri groaned in pain. Jiyong didn't feel that bad.  " _Anyway_ , you should try to talk to your dad about it. He's always talking about how to keep your family protected and stuff, right? It'd probably be easier to convince your dad to go for it than it was with my dad."  Seungri hoped, for the sake of his gut, that that was the right answer.

Jiyong groaned loudly, making the younger man raise his eyebrows at him in question. He knew Jiyong well enough that he wouldn't have to wait for long to find out what has been bugging his friend. Jiyong was kind of an open book that way.

"I can't talk to my dad right now. I just got  _done_ talking to him. He's trying to ruin my life. I honestly can't think of anything worse than this."  Jiyong groaned, turning to lay on his stomach and stuffing his face in the silk pillows underneath his head.

"Right, so regular son and father things. What's new there?" Seungri asked, playing with some of the hair on the back of Jiyong's head, twisting it between his fingers and yanking gently, making Jiyong whine again, but thankfully his gut went without a bruising. "You always say that after you guys have your weird little meetings."

"No, this time I mean it." Jiyong said fiercely, peeking one eye up to look at Seungri.

"Yeah, you also say you're serious after every meeting too." Seungri rolled his eyes, more out of obligation to give his friend shit than out of actual annoyance, "I ask again, 'hey,  Jiyong, what is so new about this conversation than the last hundred?'"

"Because now, you loser, he told me that he's not going to give me a chance anymore, that he thought I would  somehow make the right decision a long time ago. When have I ever gave off the impression that I would want to take over for him? It's like he doesn't even know me." He said quietly, but now was not the time for dramatics and woe. He took a breath and continued. "And now he's talking about death even more than usual, how I have to look after the family and take over as Head if something were to happen."

He quickly gave Seungri the cliff notes of the conversation they had in his father's office. Seungri gave him pitiful looks along the way which Jiyong chose to ignore. He was already pitying himself enough as it was. As much as he loved being given sentiments and being understood, he didn't think he can handle much more, and coming from Seungri of all people.

"You should talk to him, like now. It sounds like you've already made up your mind about it."

"I made up my mind a long time ago, though. I keep telling him I can't do it, but he doesn't take no for an answer. He's just not listening."  Jiyong said in frustration, "Besides, he and my mother are going to some meeting with another Family in like an hour or something. He's probably getting ready for that, he'd just get angry for distracting him and making him late." he grumbled.

Seungri didn't have much advice to give about the situation with Jiyong's father. Although interaction between  Seungri and Young Hwan were slim to none and always pretty terse, Seungri knew Young Hwan well enough to know that he wasn't a man to be persuaded. Any decisions he made, it was always his own and when he was ready to do so.

Instead, Seungri did what he does best - avoid the problem if he couldn't fix it and change topics. "So do you think your neighbor knows that the reason why his cat is even more lazy and gained, like, five pounds is because you've been feeding it and letting it sleep in your bed?"

Jiyong grinned. "He's suspicious, but the cat knows not to come to me until the nighttime." He was grateful for the distraction. The two of them had always cheered each other up, or at the very least distracted the other, when there didn't seem to be anything they could say to help the other.

The hours passed by quickly, idle conversation and passionate debates were the best way to make time speed up.  Seungri wasn't planning on spending the night at the Kwon home, but they had been so caught up in their discussion ("Seungri, the cat likes me better because he has good taste, not just because of the food. It's not my problem they don't keep an eye on him.") that they didn't even notice when it got dark outside. Neither bothered to try to arrange for a car home and instead called it a night, eventually fell asleep, tossing and stealing the blankets from one another.

\---

Jiyong jolted awake, feeling the tight grip someone had on his shoulder, shake his body harshly.

"Jiyong, wake up. We need to go, we need to leave! Jiyong wake up!" Seungri spoke hurriedly, panic evident in his voice, though his tone was hushed.

Jiyong tried to steady himself after all the shaking Seungri was doing to him. He sat up and looked around at the dark room. It was not dawn yet, probably the early hours of the morning, around 3 or 4 am. The slightly older male noticed that there was another figure with them, doing things that  Jiyong's sleepy mind was too tired to know what. When Jiyong's eyes eventually adjusted to the dim light in the room, he recognized the figure as  Youngbae and watched him as he took things out of a duffel bag. Jiyong heart stopped, watching for the first time as  Youngbae actually looked like a bodyguard, trained and on alert. It was even worse when he saw the things he was taking out: basic artillery. He turned his head to  Seungri, watching as his lips shook and his fingers trembled, still gripping tight on his arm.

"Seriously, get up, we need to go. Hurry!" Seungri said again, this time getting out of bed and pulling Jiyong up too.

"What- what's going on? Why are you-" Jiyong was interrupted by three loud shots being fired. Everyone stilled for a moment, then  Youngbae went right back to doing what he was doing before, putting two guns in his pockets, some other devices that  Jiyong's mind couldn't catch up to recognize, and kept one gun in his hand.

It sounded like the shots were coming from outside, towards the front of the house, but he couldn't be sure since the house was designed to block out interference from outside noise.  Jiyong tried to keep his calm like Youngbae was, but at this point, all he could think about was his family and what kind of danger they were in at the moment. "Who's shooting? Where's my mom and dad? Did they come home?"  Jiyong asked hurriedly, feeling wide awake. He directly his full attention to Youngbae, since Seungri didn't seem to have any answers either.

Without looking up from what he was doing, Youngbae finally gave him some information. "I've been awake, but there isn't much I can tell you. I didn't hear anybody come in,  Jiyong. Your parents are either outside or still at the meeting, I have no idea what the situation is yet. But you heard it, three more shots were just fired." He finally looked up, giving  Jiyong the eye contact he needed to understand the gravity of the situation. "We need to go now, understand? Come on."

What did he mean by three  _ more _ shots? Jiyong felt overwhelmed, confused, and terrified. He'd been trained all his life to stay calm in high crisis situations. He's been questioned and made to answer scenarios of how to act if his life were somehow in danger. This was nothing like those tests, and he didn't feel even remotely capable of doing anything short of sliding down the wall and pretending none of this was happening.  Youngbae took Seungri's hand and pulled him to the door, pushing him out of it. He then did the same to Jiyong and shut the door behind them, leading them both down the stairs. "There are more of your fathers men downstairs waiting to take you two somewhere safe," he told Jiyong, "I'll be with you the entire time but we need to hurry."

"But, but my-"

"Your sister has already been evacuated. But," he hesitated, "it was a little too easy. I have to assume that she wasn't the optimal target."  Youngbae told them, ushering them to where the garage was.

Jiyong felt a sick sort of feeling in his stomach. His mind was racing, who was attacking them? Was he really the target? Why were there shots coming from outside? Where was Dami evacuated to and why weren't his parents at home?

Youngbae and three other men that Jiyong recognized as guards hired to scout the outside perimeter of his home opened the garage door  quickly and pushed them inside. Jiyong shivered from the cold temperature of the garage and saw two of his fathers cars parked there, the one that he and his mother took earlier that day was still missing, meaning that they indeed never did make it back home.  Jiyong's heart dropped into his stomach.

One of the men took out a spare key for one of the parked cars. In the name of safety, it was necessary for at least two of the five guards to have a spare key in case they needed to get the family somewhere safe in situations like this. It looked like it was coming in handy now.

Before the guard could even unlock the car doors, a different car that Jiyong had never seen came bursting into the garage, the loud crash like a deafening boom.

Jiyong screamed and felt one of the guards standing behind him push him out of the way before the car could crush his body. He avoided the car but landed on his back and felt the air completely leave his lungs. He gasped for air, panic settling in his blood. Debris and sediments flew in air, smoke from the busted car engine clouding his vision and making its way into his lungs.

Glass from the broken windshield was all over the floor, Jiyong knew that because a sharp piece of it pierced through the skin of his arm, blood gushing out of the gash.  Jiyong, however, felt nothing but numbness now. The brown haired boy, though he was not able to breathe fully just yet, turned his head to the side, frantically looking for his friend through the clouds. Eventually he found him, in the corner with  Youngbae hovering over him. It looked like his father's second parked car was also hit from the crash. It ran over  Seungri's leg, and Jiyong could see a trail of blood dripping from his ankle. Jiyong turned his attention to  Youngbae and noticed that, although he did look worried for Seungri, he could not waste any time and lifted Seungri off the floor, the younger howling in pain as his body was moved off the ground, leg limp.

"He's alive in there but I don't recognize him! Not an ally, not an ally!" Jiyong heard one of the guards yell to the others. His attention was brought back to the car that crashed into his home. The driver had passed out from the force of the impact and the airbag. Now, though, he looked like he was back to being conscious and was struggling to make his way out of the crushed car.  Jiyong was afraid. This man was not an ally. He was dangerous.

Before Jiyong could let himself freeze over that fact, the garage door springs gradually started to break apart, making it creak and rattle. His father had made the door out of metal, so that bullets would be slowed down if there was a shoot out, but now  Jiyong was only scared to have the heavy wall break and fall forward, crushing them all. Luckily, or as lucky as he could be in this situation, the car that crashed into the garage door made a big enough hole to where only a part of the door broke apart and collapsed onto the driveway. It was a big enough gap that they could probably drive through without damaging the car too much.

"We need to get out of here!" Jiyong yelled, being helped up by one of the guards. He saw Youngbae put Seungri in the backside of his fathers car that wasn't badly hit. Jiyong sighed a breath of relief, glad that they had a functioning escape vehicle.

Two of the guards ran to the other side of the car door, opening it to usher him inside. He was about to, but a sight from outside caught his eye and made his heart stop. He recognized his father's car in the middle of street, not parked, but it looked like it had swerved to a stop. The front window was completely shattered and the backseat window had holes in it, creating spiderwebs of cracks throughout the glass. He knew that that was where his father and mother would have been sitting. Because of the tinted windows, he had no way of telling if his parents were in there or not. In a surge of adrenaline, he ran a couple steps out towards the driveway, trying to get a better look to see if he could see his father or mother. He had no thoughts running through his head, didn't even notice that there were still two armed men in the street, one of them pointing the gun directly at his heart.

"Jiyong, stop!" He heard his name being called from an unfamiliar voice, but was distracted by a body making contact with his and the loud sound of a gun being shot two times. He felt a sensation like pins and needles course across his body, blooming into a sharper type of agony that he couldn't quite pinpoint the cause of. He gasped inaudibly, eyes squeezing shut in reaction. He didn't even know where the source of the pain was coming from, he just knew that he was  _ hurt _ and  _ bleeding _ and-

He was  _ shot_.

In his daze, he barely noticed that he was off the ground and in the embrace of one of the bodyguards within the span of a second. He was spun around which gave him an opportunity to look up at the man who was now holding him and trying to get him inside the get-away car that  Seungri was in. The man was middle-aged, balding at the top of his head. Jiyong faintly thinks that he's seen him wandering inside of the house, talking about business with his dad. He was definitely a bodyguard of the Kwon Family, but he had no idea who he was, what his name was, or how he knew his family, if he was even related to them at all. Yet, this is the man the saved his life, virtually a complete stranger. He felt tears cascading down his cheeks, but didn't have any time to wipe them away before he was pushed inside the car next to  Seungri.

Seungri immediately wrapped his arms around Jiyong, shivering in fear, sniffling wildly but no liquid coming out of his eyes just yet.  Youngbae appeared on the other side of the car door and squeezed in next to the younger man he was assigned to protect. Two other guards got inside the car in the driver and front passenger seat, but the third man was nowhere to be found.

"Heads down! We're getting out of here, put your heads down!" The one in the driver's seat yelled to them.  Seungri and Youngbae immediately put their heads down, but Jiyong was looking at something outside of the car. On the floor, right next to  Jiyong's side of the car, mere inches away from the tires, was one of his bodyguards, laying facedown, dead. Blood was flowing freely from his chest, the blood pooling around his body.  Jiyong couldn't breathe. Someone was dead. "Head down, now, Jiyong!" the driver yelled again. This time, like a zombie,  Jiyong obeyed.

The car jerked in motion, zooming backwards and out onto the drive way. The driver floored the car and soon they were hurling down the road, it felt like the car was flying.  Jiyong wasn't even sure if the tires were on the ground from the speed and agility that the car was moving.

The two men in the front seat made sure that no one was following them and took a few backroads to avoid the main highways, just in case. Once they were given the okay that they could pick their heads back up, time and what was going on around him became a murky to  Jiyong. The two men in the front seats were giving orders to each other, talking about hospitals and trying to locate his father and some other Family Heads in a hushed voice.  Youngbae was reaching over Seungri, being mindful of his leg, and carefully rearranged Jiyong so that his back was against the car door. He began to examine the young heir for more injuries.  Seungri, however, seemed like he was absolutely losing his mind.

"Jiyong, oh God, you're shot! Jiyong," Seungri blubbered, trying to get the older boy to look at him. Jiyong, however, was feeling lightheaded and barely even felt  Seungri's warm hands on his cheeks. He was becoming delirious from the blood he was losing.

"Your leg," Jiyong muttered, wearily eyeing Seungri's broken ankle. He would live, probably just needed a cast and some crutches, but Jiyong could see that the bone was not where it needed to be. It was undoubtedly painful for  Seungri, but he didn't seem to be conscious, aware, of the pain.

"I'll be okay," Seungri whispered, "I'm just worried for you. Youngbae, I don't know if he's okay or not! Is it bad? Will he be okay?" Seungri panicked, looking between  Youngbae and Jiyong. If Jiyong were more in the right state of mind, he may have hit Seungri over the head for talking about if he'll live or die right in front of him. Right now though, he's kind of wondering the same thing.

"Stop, Seungri, we're getting him to the hospital. He'll be okay, I see the bullet, it's still inside of him, in some cases that's good. He's not bleeding out much."  Youngbae said, calmly, just like he was trained to do. Jiyong couldn't feel the same way though, he wasn't as naive as Seungri was. From years of defensive and wound lectures, he knew that a bullet still in you could ricochet in your insides, or even hit something and break apart, spraying metal shards into various organs. He could very well be dead within minutes, if that's the case. The only thing that gave him hope was that it was close enough to his shoulder that that would not happen.

Youngbae continued to give him reassurance throughout his examination, which did very little for Jiyong but seemed to help Seungri some. "It's really not that deep; shot from an angle. It's not too ugly. We're getting him to the doctors so they can do what they need to do.  But you need to stay awake Jiyong, okay?"

Jiyong didn't even notice that his eyes were slipping shut, fluttering open and closed. From an outside perspective, it was almost serene and peaceful, the way he looked, long eyelashes giving butterfly kisses to his cheeks.

He tried to regain some control of himself to stay awake, but it was hard. He groaned and tried to nod his head, but truthfully, he was unsure if he could stay awake any longer. He felt so tired.

Within minutes, the car stopped and Jiyong looked outside the window to see that they were in front of a hospital. It's not a hospital that he recognized, so they've probably driven to a hospital outside the city. At least that much he could assess.

He really knew he was in some deep shit when Seungri used a nickname he didn't normally use and gripped his hand tight, his voice shaky as he tried to give his wishes to his best friend.  "It's okay Jiyongie, you're going to be okay."

Before he could even think of saying something in response, though God only knows that he wouldn't be able to, he was put onto the stretcher and pushed into the hospital. He heard people shouting at each other, trying to get him a room and giving rushed orders to each other. He felt himself getting hooked up to all kinds of wires and told that they're going to do a quick operation on him.

He's okay with that. He doesn't really feel anything at this point. He knows that he promised to stay awake, but he's so tired.  Youngbae and Seungri should understand.

He falls asleep.


	3. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A plan marked as a dream and a long awaited conversation finally being held.

When Jiyong regains consciousness, he's in a white room and it's eerily quiet, the only sound being emitted is from the monitor that's keeping tabs on his vitals. He briefly wondered if anybody was worried for him, if there was anybody waiting for him to wake up - which was kind of depressing to wonder about. Then he thinks of  Seungri and his leg, and whether he's mobile yet or not. He thought about his sister and where she was. He was told she escaped easily, and he faintly recalled  Youngbae trying to keep him awake in the car by telling him that she successfully went to a neighbors house from the backyard, three or four guards with her. Where was she now? Then his mind drifted to his parents and if they've been located yet, why their car was in the street in front of his house but they were nowhere to be seen.

Half of the panic he feels is from thinking that his parents were dead, that he would never see them again. Even though he didn't see them much, he can't imagine never speaking or laughing with his father again, never whining to his mother about school or about how his father could act sometimes.

He feels awful about it but there's another part of him, smaller but still present, that is worried about himself. He's worried about the Family and what it would mean if his parents were really gone. If it's true, then his time in charge will begin as soon as someone is alerted that he had woken up, right at this very hospital. The next time he'd be addressed, it would be as Head. He's not prepared for that. The years of grooming from his guardians didn't make him prepared for that. Nothing would make him prepared to handle his family's expenses, while also checking up on how the city was going, along with the very illegal business they were invested and in charge of. His family may not be made up of heroes, and sometimes they're the exact opposite of one, but the city still relied on them without even knowing it. He can't lose his parents, not only because it would destroy him, but because the entire town would suffer, too.

"You're awake," Jiyong heard a voice say coming from the open door. He turned his head to see Seungri standing in the doorway, almost hesitant to come in.

"Yeah," he could only say slowly, "I am."

Seungri wobbled in on crutches with a large white cast wrapped around his entire ankle, branding a few cuts on his face, but from what  Jiyong can see, that's all that was wrong with him. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. At least he knew that someone was safe, and if he was honest with himself, he didn't think that he could handle the loss if  Seungri wasn't okay. "I was afraid that you weren't alright," Jiyong looked at Seungri, his throat feeling dry and scratchy, "I don't know, like something went wrong and you wouldn't be here anymore."

"Nope," Seungri said quietly, popping the 'p'. He moved into the room more, bypassing the chair next to  Jiyong's bed and opting for sitting right next to the older boy instead. He took the elders hand in his and gave a gentle smile, "You feeling okay?"

"I guess, can you tell me anything? Where is everybody? Are they okay? How long have I been asleep?" he fired questions one after the other, watching as  Seungri tried to work through the answers in his head.

"Okay. You've been asleep for hours," Seungri shrugged, "I don't really know how long, but it feels like hours. Maybe it's been a day? I don't know. I feel like time has just been frozen and speeding by all at the same time."  Jiyong heard the crack in his voice but didn't call the younger male out on it. "And your family is here. Well your parents are, your sister is at a secure location. Nobody will tell me where they are."  Seungri paused and smiled softly, "But I bet she's at your grandma's house. That's your safe place, right? That's where I'd want to be."

Jiyong nodded and brought his hands up to his face, and took a deep breath. His family is safe, his family is alive. "God, okay, that- that's great. Can I see my dad? Is he going to come in soon?"  Jiyong asked, peeking his head around Seungri to take a look outside as if they were right on the other side of the door.

Seungri shook his head and looked at Jiyong with a look that was meant to be friendly, but looked a little bit closer to pity. "I'm sorry, but your dad isn't here as a visitor. He's a patient."

Jiyong sat up immediately, accidentally jostling the IV in his arm and tugging it. "Ouch," he looked at his friend, "Why? Why is he a patient? What's wrong with him?"

Seungri frowned and looked at the door, as if he expected someone to be listening into their conversation. He turned back to  Jiyong and spoke quietly, "Listen, nobody will tell me much. I don't know what's wrong with your dad. I just know that your parents got into some kind of argument with the Family that they were meeting with, they stayed at his place for hours into the night. When they were on their way home, the driver was shot in the head or something and the car crashed in the street. I think that was the gunshot that I woke up to. Nobody will tell me anything more because it 'doesn't concern me'." He made a face, knowing it was complete bullshit. "But we both heard that there were multiple shots fired, so-" he cut off and squeezed  Jiyong's hand firmly, "I don't know but, I mean, doesn't it seem like-"

"Like he was hit by one of the bullets." Jiyong finished the sentence for him, heart thundering inside his chest. "I have to see him. They'll tell me more, something at least. I just need to find him." He began trying to get up from the bed but  Seungri pushed him back down gently.

"Wait, I'm not going to stop you but we should get a nurse in here to take off the IVs so that you don't hurt yourself, dumbass."  Seungri said, watching as Jiyong fumbled around with the different wires connected to him as if he knew what he was doing, a small smile at the end of his sentence.

Jiyong didn't even pause in his motions, "You're the dumbass, dumbass." He surprised himself saying that. He looked up at  Seungri, feeling odd for being able to joke with this situation going on.

He laughed and looked down. "Do you think the fact that we can joke at a time like this means that we're fucked up?"

The younger boy shook his head. "No, I think that the fact  we can joke at a time like this means  _ they're _ fucked up."

Jiyong sighed, acknowledging that there was nothing he could respond to that with at the current moment.  "I still want them to be okay."

Seungri squeezed his hand. "Me too." He turned to the door. "Youngbae's right outside the door, I'll tell him to get a nurse." He limped his way to the doorway.  Jiyong sat back in bed and closed his eyes.

Jiyong hasn't asked for much in his life, the only exception being that he wanted to be enrolled in school and not take over the Family business. Still, his family and friends of the family, even strangers, have always been generous when they gave him gifts and presents. Right now, though, he would willingly give away everything he's ever been given, all presents from past birthdays and holidays and all the  possessions he's ever owned, just to have his parents be alright.

The nurse came in shortly after that and had asked him a million questions, many of which he felt no interest or care to answer. Thankfully, as his reward for being patient and helpful, or as much as he could be in his state, she finally let him walk around. He had his arm wrapped up and in a sling from when the glass punctured his arm and his side was bandaged up from where the bullet had hit him, but for the most part he was okay.

He asked Seungri to accompany him and together they went to the clerks at the front desk and asked which room the Kwon Family was staying in, Youngbae following to make sure that nothing happened to them.

Kwon was not an unfamiliar last name in South Korea but he highly doubted that they were unaware of the fact that the notorious  Kwon Family of Daegu were being treated at this hospital. With a shaky hand and a faltering smile, the nurse pointed him in the direction where his father's room was. He thanked her in the most reserved and polite way he could muster and turned to  Seungri and Youngbae, Seungri quickly picking up that Jiyong wanted to go in alone. He nodded his head as a go ahead and dragged  Youngbae away to go sit on some chairs in the waiting room to give him space. Youngbae looked like he wanted to protest but let Jiyong go the rest of the way alone.

Three men sat in hospital chairs outside of the room, one wearing daytime clothes and the other two looked like they had just come back from some type of event, suit jackets gone, ties loosened, and a few buttons of their dress shirt unbuttoned in an attempt to look more casual, inconspicuous. To the untrained eye, people may fall for it, but  Jiyong recognized his fathers guards just from their body language, could spot their sharp eye movement and attentive ears, even when they were trying to look immersed in their magazines and cell phones.

When Jiyong got closer, they all picked their heads up, and then put them back down, recognizing him as the heir to the Kwon Family. He stood there for a while, outside the room, and held his breath. He didn't know what kind of condition he expected his father to be in. He could be in a coma, he could never wake up again. Perhaps he was unrecognizable because of the car crash, or depending on where the bullet entered, or bullets, it could be much worse.

As he pushed open the door, he braced for the worst. What he got, however, was his father - awake - laying on a hospital bed, his mother by his side with only a sling for her arm but a nasty looking bruise on her face.

Tears prickled in his eyes in some kind of desperate relief after finally knowing that his parents were alright. He ran as quickly as he could in his condition into his mothers waiting arms.

"You're awake. Oh, Jiyong, my dear boy. My baby," his mother cooed, her embrace almost suffocating even with her arm in a sling, "I am so happy you're alright, my poor baby. I came to visit you a few times, I didn't want to leave-"

"It's okay, mom, I'm okay." He assured her. He knew that she was probably told that she had to stay with his father by those men outside the door. In times of crisis, it was best to listen to their Family protectors than to pick a fight and go wandering alone, even if it was just at a hospital. Honestly,  Jiyong didn't care that he woke up alone. In his mothers arms, he felt like a small child again, safe in his mothers powerful hold.

After he began to lose feeling in the top half of his body, he gently pulled away from his mother, her hand caressing his face and hair. "Dad," he breathed, turning his attention to his father. He gave him a thorough once-over. There were no noticeable injuries like a sling or cast, but his face was cut up, like glass had been smashed into it.  Jiyong didn't care, he was just happy he was alive.

"I'm fine, Jiyong, you're the one we're worried about. Are you okay?" his father asked, opening one of his arms to allow  Jiyong to hug him, which he did. His father was not an overly affectionate man, but even still Jiyong still enjoyed the heartfelt moment.

"Yeah I told you, I am." Jiyong reassured quickly. As soon as his dad released him from his hug, he couldn't delay the elephant in the room anymore. "What happened?"

His parents looked at each other, communicating in a way where there were no words that needed to be said. It was a connection they had that only came with years of being married as long as they have been and being with each other through thick and thin like they have done.

"My love, Misook, can you give Jiyong and I some time to talk." his father asked softly. She gave him a look that told him she did not want to go anywhere without her son, but his father didn't budge. Sighing, she nodded her head and gave  Jiyong one last kiss on the head before she exited the room, shutting the door quietly behind her.  Jiyong bit his lip, his mother wasn't someone to give in to things easily, and her husband wasn't an exception. This talk suddenly seemed much more ominous than before.

Regardless, Jiyong didn't want to bother with the suspense when he knew that eventually the shoe would drop. It was better to face it head on and get it out of the way, especially since he really did want to know what happened, at least enough of it so he could make sense of the past events. " What is it?"

His father signed and beckoned his son closer. "I feel weary to give you the full story because, I'm afraid, that it is of confidential Family business."  Jiyong gave a snort of disbelief. His father never gave he or Dami the details about specific information regarding the business in fear that they would be kidnapped and tortured to expel information. It was a huge load of overprotective and paranoid bullshit, since  Jiyong was being pressured left and right for months on end to take up position as Head by his father. He was just about to tell him so, but his father continued . "But, it seems that my business will become your business very soon."

Jiyong looked at his father skeptically, "Meaning?" he asked, then panic spread throughout his body, "Are you dying?" he exclaimed.

His father shook his head, "No- well, from this, no. I am not dying." Jiyong breathed a sigh of relief, something he's thankful he gets to do so a lot of today. "However, I am not so healthy,  Jiyong." Glancing at his son, he sighed. "I'll tell you what I can."

Jiyong waited patiently for his father to recount the events what happened the day before.

"It was a deal gone bad. There were promises that were made from multiple sources that could not be met. Your mother and I tried to get everything back under control, but it was of very little success. There were many participants and groups that took part in the meeting last night,  Jiyong. I cannot say with any certainty which one of those parties would hurt my family like this." He paused briefly, "I am touched by an angel to have my entire family be alive and well. But I was shot. It was not a deadly penetration, but it may as well have been." He gripped  Jiyong hand in his own, "I am not so powerful anymore Jiyong, my blood is thin and weak. I shouldn't be in a hospital bed, but my body is so unwell that I have to be here. If this was twenty years ago, I could have just stitched myself up. Now... I cannot recover as easily as I once could."

Jiyong kept his eyes downcast, rubbing his thumb over his fathers knuckles absently, simply hearing what his father had to say.

"I need someone to be present now, Jiyong. I need you to be in those meetings, I need you to be aware of what is going on. I cannot bounce back like I may have once before."  Jiyong shook his head softly, not believing that his father was telling him this, now of all times, "I am still the active Head of this Family, but I need to have someone that can take over if I should pass on, quickly and swiftly, with no further trouble."

"That person is not me, father." Jiyong pleaded, meeting his eyes. "I can't do this, I am not cut out for this life! Yesterday-" he paused, letting the guilt and grief consume him as he tried to explain himself, "Yesterday, I did everything wrong. I got people hurt. I was stupid. I'm ashamed of how I handled things.  I'm always going to be in danger, I'm making other people be in danger with my foolish decisions."

His father was now the one to look away, looking somewhat guilty. "You are in danger just being in this family,  Jiyong. I am sorry, but you are. Anybody working for us are devoted to us, they know the danger, and they choose this path anyway. This is how it is."

Young Hwan looked at his son and gave him a meaningful look. "But  _ you _ , you have the chance and the  _ right _ as the eldest to make something of yourself; to live with the danger and learn from it; turn it around in a way so that you are not the target anymore, but the source of it. You have to take the position you're in and find your great opportunity, your legacy, with it. Being Head of the Family means that you are living your life in danger, yes, but also in power. I fear that if you do not take this position, it will do no good. You are still in danger, my son, but at least with this, you can be in charge and take your stand."

Jiyong closed his eyes again, mulling over the words of his father. He could see the logic in his words, of course he could. No matter if he were to be Head or not, he would still be the son of Kwon  Young Hwan , would always be a  _mob-son_.

Was there no hope for him then? All those years that he spent in school, trying his little heart out to make friends and excel in his studies, was all this in vain? He felt in that moment that he spent his life playing pretend, playing dress up. He put on his best costume and tried to be something he's not but always hoped to be: normal.

Now, it was as if he was stripped of all the pretending, void of any props, standing naked in front of the world, them telling him exactly what he was and who he will forever be. He had to grow up.

But why was growing up associated with giving in? That wasn't the only part of adulthood, and he wouldn't let anybody convince him that it was. There were convictions, instincts, and beliefs, and he felt them powerfully enough to speak them.

"Then send me away." He declared, barely thinking about what he was saying before he said it, but desperately needing to propose the idea he never really gave much hope for.

His father snapped his head up to look at him. "I'm sorry?" The look that Jiyong was getting wasn't quite anger, but pretty close to it.

He gulped down the fear and the urge to succumb to his father and chose his next words carefully, "Send me away. Let me leave." he repeated, "Listen, there is no way that I can be the person you want me to be. I cannot be the Head, nor do I want to be the Head, father." he found himself speaking to his father like so many people did - with strength, maturity, and confidence. Usually he spoke to his father without much thought, his words tumbling past his lips in a polite disarray of passion and feeling. Now, he felt like he was speaking calculatingly, measuring and tasting out the words in his throat before he let them escape. He needed to sway the man who was thought to be stagnant. "I cannot be the heir you want me to be. I cannot be this person because this person is a stranger to me, as well. I am not being bashful or modest when I tell you that I am not the person qualified to take over your legacy. And I do see the validity in your point. So this is the solution I propose: send me away."

His father looked almost stunned, at least a little bit baffled, but recovered quickly. He shook his head and ran his fingers through his thinning hair. "Impossible."

"It is not!" Jiyong persisted, "Send me away, along with a guard or something. Send me far away, out of the country! It doesn't matter to me where. I will live life small, quietly. I won't bother anybody." At this, his father tried to hide his emotions, but  Jiyong was too fast to catch the sadness in his father's eyes. "I am not doing this to escape you or the family, or even the Families. But I can honestly say, in the deepest depths of my soul that this is the path I need to go on."  Jiyong said sincerely, trying to make eye-contact with his father.  Young Hwan rarely didn't make eye contact with anybody, saying that cowering away from a person's eyes was a sign of weakness and vulnerability. If that's true,  Jiyong wonders what his father is feeling right now, then.

"You really believe that this is the path for you?" His father asked, not sold on the idea, but wanting to hear if  Jiyong meant it or not.

Jiyong nodded adamantly, feeling excitement course through his veins. He tried to uphold himself as he did before, but seeing this possibility actually being considered by his father, he had little control over the waves of excitement crashing into him. "Yes, and I already have everything worked out! Well, not everything, obviously because I am just thought of this now too- which doesn't mean it's not still a good plan."  Jiyong hurried to say.

He continued, "Seungri has this bodyguard, Youngbae, and he doesn't look anything like a bodyguard - he's short, young, you know, attractive. They look like friends. They  are friends. If you saw them walking down the street, it wouldn't look suspicious at all. I just need somebody like that. Someone who looks like me, no offense to any other guards I've had but I bet if people saw us walking down the street, they'd be afraid for my safety." He paused to look at his father to see if he still had his attention and was pleased to see that his father looked to be thinking quite seriously. "And, because I know you're probably wondering who would take over the Head position, that could easily be Dami. She could do it right now. Let her be your second in command, she deserves it." Hd looked at his father, "Unlike me, I know that she does want to be Head of the Family. She'll support you, make the Family stronger."

Everuything was as true as gospel, he just needed to make his father see that.

After Jiyong's long winded proposal, the only thing that he had to do now was wait for what his father had to say. If  Jiyong was asked yesterday if he could ever consider leaving his family and fleeing, he would have told them that it was only a fantasy and his father would never allow that. Now, though, it looked as if his father was really considering it.

"You've been thinking about this then," his father said quietly, almost accusatory if not for the melancholy tone he tried to conceal, "long before this day. Right?"

Jiyong paused. "I think about a lot things. They don't really mean anything. It's just musing."

"Until now." His father finished, statement, not a question.

The heir nodded, "Until now."

He waited with bated breath, looking at his father with the leftover confidence he managed to muster up. Finally his father picked up his head and told him, "I need to discuss with your mother."  Jiyong didn't know if that was a good sign or not, but he couldn't dwell on it long. He nodded obediently to his father, gave him another hug as a goodbye, and exited the room signaling for his mother to go back inside. He kissed her on the cheek briefly, knowing that once his father told her about her eldest son's plan, she wouldn't be happy with him in the least.

Knowing that his family was safe along with the talking to he just gave his father, he felt like he had he just unloaded a pile of bricks from off his shoulders. He strode over to Seungri, trying to keep his smile minimal with little use. " Seungri," He called, carrying out the note.

Seungri raised an eyebrow, catching onto Jiyong's good mood. "Jiyong," he sang back suspiciously, "I'm guessing your dad is okay?"

"Better than okay. Well, not really, but we had a really good conversation. I think we did, anyway."  Jiyong nodded his head, but tried to reel in some of the giddiness he felt. No decisions were made yet, after all. There wasn't any reason to celebrate as of now. "Let's go back to my room, I want to tell you about it."  Jiyong instinctively tried to grab Seungri's hand but remembered that he needed both of his hands to get around now. That was a real bummer for  Jiyong, probably for Seungri too, but mostly Jiyong.

They all made their way back to Jiyong's room. Outside, Seungri turned his head and smiled at Youngbae , silently telling him that he would be okay alone. Youngbae nodded his head and told him to go ahead, he'd be right outside the door, anyway. He picked up a newspaper from the table beside him and started reading it.

"Okay," Seungri asked, settling down on Jiyong's bed with Jiyong standing in front of him, "What has gotten your panties all up in a bunch- in a good way?"

Jiyong could hardly contain himself telling his best friend the conversation that went on between his father and him. He told  Seungri everything about his plan, about how he could leave South Korea and start a new life. He told him that he would be nothing but content to carry on his days being anonymous, living among regular people. He even told him about how  Seungri was a huge part of inspiration for him and that if it wasn't for him and Youngbae, the plan would never have worked, it probably wouldn't even have been an idea. Seungri stared awestruck as Jiyong pieced his plan together, seeing it blossom before his eyes. It has always Jiyong's dream to escape this place, but that's all it has ever been - a dream.

"I can't believe it," Seungri let out a breath when Jiyong was done.

"I know. I'll miss them a lot, I'm sure, but it's pretty damn near perfect." he said excitedly, feeling pretty smug about all the details he managed to piece together in such a short time. All that time fantasizing did come in handy.

"I can't believe you're actually smart enough to think of a plan like this." Seungri continued, now with his eyebrows up, looking mildly impressed, "You couldn't even wrap your head around the idea of basic math but you can plan out something pretty elaborate like this. The odds!"  Seungri laughed now, looking up at Jiyong.

Jiyong crossed his arms in offense, "Math is hard," he reasoned, "This is my life, so I think it's a little bit more important." He quipped, then looked back at  Seungri, "Also, thank you. I know it's pretty sealed tight."

For a few minutes Seungri stayed silent, looking at the floor in thought. Jiyong then realized something. If he were to leave,  Seungri could not join him. Kyunghee would never allow it. He didn't even know if Seungri was interested or capable of leaving his family, if he was even desperate enough to do it. The younger was probably thinking that he's losing his best friend this way.  Jiyong frowned, now feeling sadness himself.

"Seungri, look man-" Jiyong started, only to be interrupted when Seungri's head snapped up, a fierce look in his eyes.

"I'm going with you." He declared, giving Jiyong a look that dared him to argue.

"What?" Jiyong gawked.

"Youngbae will come too, obviously," the younger amended, scratching behind his ear, "but we're totally with you."

Jiyong hesitated. In truth, he would like nothing more than to take Seungri with him, but he didn't know if Seungri was actually thinking things through completely. The younger hadn't mentioned much about wishing to leave his family, only that he didn't want the responsibility of being Head, which wasn't even a possibility anyway. There was a difference between feeling disconnected and cutting ties altogether. This was huge. If they left, there was very little chance that they'd ever come back. If they did go back, it would only be when all this violence and confusion stopped.

"I don't know," he started, "do you really know what that means? You're leaving everything behind. That means you're family, too."  Jiyong said carefully.

Seungri sighed but nodded his head, "Jiyong, I talk to my father with the same respect that you do to yours. I do my work if he asks me to and I stay out of the way if that's what's needed from me. But that's not really enough anymore. I'm not at home here. My family doesn't spare me a glance anymore. They don't invite me to any meetings, I'm not beneficial to them now. I'm... dispensible."

Jiyong shook his head, but Seungri put up a hand. "No, really. You know what? I'm okay with that. My father has an empire to run and leaders to train for the job. I'm not one. But that doesn't mean I have to stay here and punish myself for that."

"You could just leave, just like that?"

"Honestly," he said, "I can't live like this. I can't imagine going years like this. I could barely handle it when you went awol for four months."  Jiyong didn't get a chance to feel bad before Seungri gave him a playful smile, "You're pretty close to being my everything, you know. So if you leave-" He scrunched up his face in distaste, "God, saying this just sounds gross."

Jiyong couldn't help but grin in response. He didn't need to hear anything more. The more he thought about it, the more it made sense that  Seungri would also want to leave to start a new life, after all it seemed like the good years being with his family were rapidly ending. If  Seungri was sure, then Jiyong certainly wasn't going to try to talk him out of it.

"Alright," Jiyong said, relaxing and sitting down on the other side of the bed. "Alright."

"Alright," Seungri agreed, sporting himself a huge smile.

Silence spread between the two boys, a comfortable one. However, the silence gave Jiyong time to do some thinking about something that he had tried to put off. Now that he knew that his family was safe and that there was a possibility for a new life for him and his closest friend, he couldn't ignore the topic anymore.

"What really happened," Jiyong spoke into the quiet room, not having to speak in anything louder than a soft whisper because of how close  Seungri was to him, "In the garage, I mean. From what I remember, everyone was alive, until I ran outside. And then I heard shots and... Now someone is dead. I saw him lying by the car. That's because of me, isn't it?"

Seungri looked down at the ground, confirming what Jiyong already knew was true. It was hard for Seungri to lie to Jiyong, or even just neglect tell him the whole truth. He knew that Jiyong was not being told everything and it was unlikely that anybody else would tell him what really happened in those few seconds of panic. He didn't want to tell him the truth, but knew that  Jiyong deserved to know.

"Okay. I'll tell you." Seungri looked at Jiyong, wanting to give it him like he ripping off a bandaid, hoping to save him the torture of waiting in suspense. "When you ran out, you were right in front of one of the attackers. He was pointing his gun right at you, dude. But two of the guards went after you at the same time. One of them got you just in time, he didn't stop the first bullet, but I think if he was even a second late, that bullet would have hit you in somewhere you couldn't bounce back from. The other guy- he stepped in front of you and took the second bullet. He acted as, like, a human shield or something. I'm pretty sure that if he hadn't stepped in front of you guys, the other bodyguard would have been hit and he wouldn't have gotten you to the car. The guy who died, he really saved both of your lives."  Seungri said softly, finally meeting Jiyong eyes.

Jiyong felt his eyes prickle with tears once again. Two of his father's men, maybe even family in some way, risked their lives for him. He wasn't close to either of the men, didn't even know their names, but it was still tragic. One man was dead, but both of them had been willing to sacrifice themselves for him. If he hadn't have ran out, no one may have died. So far, this feeling of guilt has been the worst feeling he's ever experienced in his life.

"Seungri, I ran out into open fire. I'm lucky to be alive." Jiyong whispered, tears running down his cheeks. "I put everyone in danger. I killed that man. I'm so stupid!"

Seungri shook his head and took Jiyong's hand in his own. "You saw your parents car, and you freaked. It happened so fast, you didn't even know what you were doing." He said quietly, "I probably would've done the same thing. It was a mistake. You didn't kill anyone."

Seungri's words did nothing to soothe Jiyong. At that moment, he just wanted to be as far away from this place as possible.

He couldn't imagine his father denying him of his request. Not when he knew that he had already put so many people in danger, had already gotten one man killed, something he was not going to be convinced that he hadn't. Not when, as Head, he would probably kill again, willingly or unwillingly did not matter. Not when the plan was already spoken out loud, real and almost tangible. Not when he and  Seungri may actually be set free.

He couldn't stay in this toxic place anymore. He just couldn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is somehow posted so much later than I meant it to be? But anyway, I really appreciate the comments and kudos. Let me know what you think as the story progresses either on here or tumblr (nanailliterate)!


	4. In Motion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Answer is upon him, and then things are set in motion.

Jiyong sat outside of his father's office once again, feeling just the same amount of nervousness that he always felt, but this time it was heightened because of the impeding news of his fathers decision. They had scheduled an early appointment just to talk about it.

It had been about a week and half since the Incident (which is what  Jiyong had mentally been calling the attack of his family) and about four days since his father had been home from the hospital.

It's been hard for everyone lately. The air in the house felt tense and stiff, even if he was seldom alone in the same room as his parents. It was like even the walls and the floors carried the tension in the plaster and wood; it was borderline suffocating.

After he left his father to converse with his mother after their Life Altering Conversation (or LAC, as  Jiyong has again titled the events in his life), to say she was upset with the topic of their discussion was more than an understatement. She was furious, livid even.  Jiyong would even go as far as saying she was murderous.

He wasn't very afraid of his mother, since he had never actually seen with his own eyes her business persona before. He was usually the object of her affection when they spent time together, she coddled him like he was still an infant and he never minded it. That being said, he was almost struck dead when the first look his mother gave him after she found out what he wanted to do.  Jiyong didn't have much hope that his father would allow him to leave after that, since his father often tried to appease his mother as much as possible. However, it seemed that his father was actually still considering it, since  Jiyong would catch his dad staring at him more than usual when he was around.

It's not that he didn't understand why his parents were sad and afraid to let him go, of course it would be hard for every kid to leave the nest. But in his case, if he didn't leave the nest, he didn't have a doubt in his mind that he would eventually end up in an early grave.

The clock told him that he only had a couple more minutes until he was to find out if he could leave or not. He tried to stay calm and take deep breaths, but even that couldn't stop his heart from nearly jumping out of his chest.

" Jiyong ."

Said boy lifted up his head, surprised at the voice that had called him. It wasn't Chaerin, but his father, personally standing by his door of his office and telling him to come in.  Jiyong gulped and stood up, hesitating slightly. "Come on. You can't just stand there all day."

Jiyong gave a small smile back, nodding his head and hastily went into his father's study. "So, I'm guessing you've thought of what I had to say and have come to a decision?" He asked. He didn't mean to rush to the point, and it was considered rude to speak about business until his father brought it up. If he was an associate, he'd be in a world of trouble, but waiting anymore may actually give  Jiyong a heart attack.

His father nodded his head, placing a thumb on his lip in thought. "Why should I trust you to go off alone? I'm being honest here, what makes you think you could take care of yourself, or  Seungri for that matter? You are his senior and should take care of him, too. He is the son of a very close friend, and I care a great deal about that boy. You're telling me that you, a child that has never stepped outside these walls without supervision, suddenly know the way of the world now?"  Jiyong winced, but was glad that his father was at least being honest with him. It was better than being patronized.

"Well, someone is going to be watching over me, so I guess that will give me more free time to watch over  Seungri , wouldn't it?"  Jiyong stuttered out, then cursed silently, as that wasn't a very good reply right in the beginning. He had to get a grip if he was to prove himself to this man. "Father, I  _ can _ take care of myself. I may not be cut out for this life, but I'm not stupid. I know how to protect myself and I'm pretty observant of my surroundings too. I've learned a thing or two, being your son." He told his father, looking into his eyes to try to convey his sincerity, "And I've had to put up with things in my life too. I mean, not anything as dangerous as what you've had to do, but I had to go through school and bullying and being pretty much alone for a lot of my life. It made me stronger. And all those trainings and tests I've been put through didn't go to waste. For all that I may seem to you, don't underestimate me." He cleared his throat. "I think I'd be able to protect both myself and  Seungri if I had to. Which I wouldn't because I'm going somewhere really safe, I'll make certain." He added, just for good measure.

Jiyong 's father sighed and gave a sad laugh, his demeanor contrastingly greatly from how it had been a minute ago. He ran his hands over his face, evidently exhausted. "Yeah, I thought you'd respond like that. The truth is that I've been thinking about it non-stop. I went through just about every question I could ask you in my head to try to make you stay, every scenario to scare you out of your foolish and rash ideas, but I could always hear your voice in my head answering me, challenging me, never backing down to what I say." His father looked at  Jiyong now, with more tenderness than  Jiyong had ever witnessed from him, "I am terrified to let you go. I have to be truthful. I wish I could say no to you and just keep you here, but I can't do that."

Jiyong perked up, his heart racing in his chest. "What exactly are you saying?"

"Despite the death threats your mother has been giving me, I'm saying yes, that I will arrange for you to leave the country to live your own life."

Jiyong shot up in his seat before he could help himself, wrapping his arms around his father and uttering noises he didn't even know he could make, eyes shut tight. He couldn't believe what his father was telling him, he couldn't believe that he was actually going to be able to have his own life - somewhere far away from this dark place he called home.

"Thank you," he said, "thank you so much."

"Yes, well, be lucky that you have a very capable sister and a good head on your shoulders. Don't think that I would allow you to go if you hadn't."

Jiyong nodded his head in understanding. He was very lucky indeed.

Of course his father had many restrictions and rules for  Jiyong . The boy sat and listened to what his father wanted him to do, and all in all, it wasn't too out of hand.  Jiyong was going to be appointed a bodyguard, and even though he had no say in who was going to be chosen,  Young Hwan saw the validity in choosing a man that was around Jiyong's age so they could blend in well together.

A part of the deal was that  Jiyong and  Seungri would have to lay very low. The older of the two would keep tabs and make sure that  Seungri wasn't causing any trouble or being reckless so as not to jeopardize his own family relations with the Lee Family.

When  Jiyong asked what he would be doing with his time in this foreign country with only three people along with him, his father told him something that brought a huge smile to his face - he would be normal. There was nothing that his father was going to make him do, no deals with any shady businesses there; nothing.

As  Jiyong listened to the next piece of information his father gave, he concluded that his father was doing much more than thinking these past few days.

Apparently, Young Hwan had been busy on phone with various people in the United States. He had bought two complexes, each one having it's own shop downstairs from it, that way they could work right below were they would be living. The two complexes were right across from each other, close enough to be safe but not too close, in a small city just outside of Los Angeles. Being close to Los Angles,  Jiyong thought, was really the perfect place for him to be. It was close to many resources like airports and highways that he could have quick access to if he needed to go back to South Korea or flee if he was somehow found out.

Luckily the apartments didn't have many rooms and his father was wealthy enough to be able to buy out the other tenants easily. That way,  Jiyong and  Seungri wouldn't have to worry about anyone dangerous renting the same complex as them. He even made sure that the previous owners had enough money in the settlement so they could move somewhere else, somewhere nicer even, so he wouldn't make any enemies.

Jiyong , his father told him, would run the shop with  Seungri , which  Jiyong was already bouncing in his seat about, especially when he heard what kind of shop he was going to run.  Jiyong had always loved being outside, a direct result of never being allowed to go off on his own and barely ever got to be outside without having a destination to go to. He cherished any time he was able to step out into fresh air. Because of this, he was over the moon when he was told that the store was a floral shop. He knew next to nothing about flowers, but Young Hwan had said it would be a good thing for  Jiyong , knowing that he naturally attentive and responsible. He would do very well running this kind of starter business.  Jiyong couldn't agree more.

The second shop his father bought was going to be run by Youngbae and his soon-to-be bodyguard.  Jiyong had asked why  Seungri and he were separated from the only two people in the world that would protect and understand them, but his father said that it would give him some space without having them be alone. Plus, the bodyguards' first priority was to do just that: guard. It would be too evident that  Seungri and  Jiyong were constantly being watched, so  Jiyong 's father thought it would be better if  Youngbae and  Jiyong 's guard watched from a bit of distance. They would have to leave a few weeks early to get things settled and start their own business.  Jiyong and  Seungri would meet up with them a few weeks later.

Jiyong nodded his head eagerly to everything his father said. He hadn't even given much thought to how every day life would be if he really got the chance to go, but he was beyond impressed that his father had thought of everything for him, even managing to buy out two shops conjoined with the apartments all for his son and his son's best friend.

The more he listened to his father, the more excited he became. He couldn't wait to start his new life with  Seungri , it was a dream that he never thought would come true. He was even excited to be doing this with  Youngbae involved. Although they didn't have much communication the day they met and haven't even seen each other since they got back from the hospital,  Jiyong knew that if  Youngbae was okay with  Seungri , he would be okay with  Jiyong . Anyway,  Jiyong was eager to make new friends.

That was another aspect of this whole ordeal that he was looking forward to, meeting his own bodyguard. He was ready to start his own relationship with the man, fueled on by how well  Seungri and  Youngbae got along. He wanted that for himself, wanted that close intimacy and dependency that they shared with each other.

With this thought in his mind, his heart completely shattered when his father told him the next rule Jiyong had to follow. "And absolutely no excessive communication with Youngbae or the bodyguard I choose to assign to you unless it is absolutely necessary."

Jiyong 's mouth fell open and he scrunched his eyebrows together in what could only be called a flawless look of astonishment. Noticing his son's crestfallen look, his father shook his head and told  Jiyong sternly, "I don't want anyone to be aware of the relationship between the guards and you and  Seungri . They are not going to be your friends, they are going to be your guardians. I want that to remain true. They will work in their own shop and you will work in your own shop. For the first few weeks, I want them to stay in your and  Seungri's apartment just to be sure that you two are safe, but even that will be on the low. I don't even want you guys to be seen together. After that when they leave back to their own apartments, you and  Seungri will have minimum contact with them."

Jiyong didn't change his face, looking up at his father with betrayal shown on his face. His father didn't look convinced and sighed, " Jiyong , you will meet so many new people in your new location, it's close to LA for God's sake! People will be walking into your shop all the time. Do not look at me like that just because I want you to preserve a business relationship with your guards. I won't tolerate it."

The young boy quickly shut his mouth and stopped trying to guilt trip his father, but that didn't mean he was any less happy with the situation.

"Now, any objections or questions you have for me-  _ legitimate _ objections,  Jiyong ."  Jiyong slowly retracted his arm back down into his lap, "Okay, that sounds good. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be calling  Seungri's father to let him now I have finally settled the details."

Jiyong stood up and bowed to his father, feeling the need to be respectful to the man that was being far more generous than  Jiyong thought he would be. As  Jiyong stood back up, he couldn't help but give his father one last hug to bid his goodbye. He quickly turned around and fled the room, nearly giggling at his fathers  _ tsk _ that followed him out the door.

He ran down the stairs and made a beeline to his room, he had a lot of packing to do and a best friend to call.

\---

"I can't believe this is really happening, man. I mean, I really  _ really _ can't believe this is actually happening!"  Seungri jumped and laid down on  Jiyong 's bed, grinning from ear to ear.

Jiyong walked to his desk and jumped onto it, feet swinging back and forth. "I know! It feels like we've been waiting for so long to finally leave, I just can't believe that in a matter of hours, we'll be completely different people."

It turned out that he didn't have to go rush to pack that day after the meeting with his father, as it had been almost  _ six weeks _ since his father told him that his life in LA had been approved. In that time, even  Seungri's leg and  Jiyong 's arm have healed enough for them to not have to wear their casts and slings anymore.

The night his father called  Kyunghee , they had discussed how to go about getting them to LA and how to proceed next. The next day,  Seungri had been sent with his bags and belongings to the Kwon Manor. The two fathers had agreed that it was best for  Seungri to stay with the Kwon's for the rest of his time living in South Korea.  Youngbae couldn't protect  Seungri there anymore because he was already on a plane to go to LA.  Jiyong thought that  Seungri would be a little sad that he was leaving his family already, but in all honesty, he hadn't seen his friend that relaxed in months.

Jiyong had also heard a rumor from  Seungri that  Youngbae was not traveling alone, meaning that his father  _ had _ already picked  Jiyong 's guard. The curiosity of who the man would end up being was eating at his mind, but he knew that in only a few weeks time he would meet the man he would be spending many, many years with.

The weeks where  Jiyong and  Seungri awaited the day that Young Hwan would finally tell them they could leave to the United States, they had felt some kind of bubbling, joyous anxiousness. Although  Jiyong was happy to be living with the younger already, they couldn't go outside and were told to be very careful with what they did. They couldn't even talk about their trip outside of  Jiyong 's room or his father's study, since Young Hwan was forever worried about an outsider finding out that  Seungri and  Jiyong were leaving and tried to follow them all the way to LA to torture them, or something.  Jiyong didn't quite understand all of his father's worries, but he wasn't going to fight with him about it. It just made a very boring and uneventful handful of weeks for the two young boys.

Now, though, they were feeling a lot of things, but bored was not one of them. They had a 3 am flight to go directly to LAX and were going to get a lift to their future home by a man that his father said owed him a favor. After that, that was it. There would be no more people that "owed his father a favor," or being in danger, or not being able to go outside. He could do as he pleased without fearing for his life. He could just be  Jiyong .

Jiyong and  Seungri decided to take a quick nap before they had to leave to go to the airport. Odds were that once they got to LA, they would want to spend their time awake and start unpacking. Plus,  Seungri was really excited to meet up with  Youngbae and  Jiyong was feeling giddy himself about meeting this stranger that would be in his life from here on out.

The quick nap he had took felt like it had come and went in a matter of seconds because  Jiyong soon felt himself being shaken awake by  Seungri , who was already dressed and had shoes on. He looked at the door and saw one of the bodyguard's permanently at his home, ready to drive them to their destination.  Jiyong couldn't get out of bed and dressed quick enough.

The two boys carried their heavy luggage downstairs, tripping over their feet and groaning because of the weight of their (namely  Jiyong 's) bags. Yet even that couldn't bring down their mood.  Jiyong did feel a little guilty when he saw his parents waiting by the newly repaired garage door, though. His father was dressed in his usual suit but his mother was already in her pajamas with a robe around her, making her look much more vulnerable and mom-like than her usual business attire. She didn't have tears in her eyes but they were red just the same and  Jiyong immediately dropped his bags and ran into her embrace. He buried his face in her neck, breathing in the familiar scent of his mother. It always reminded him of when he was younger and his mother spent more time at home, she would put him in her lap and read him stories. He can't recall any of the stories she read or their plots, but every time he smelt that familiar scent it brought him right back to the scene.  Jiyong shut his eyes tightly, for the first time feeling genuinely sad about the move.

After a few more moments of hugging, his mother was the one to break apart, smiling a watery smile. She pushed him gently towards his father and  Jiyong felt hesitant to hug him, since the man wasn't one to hug easily. But his mother seemed to know better and nudged him again, and this time  Jiyong went willingly. His father hugged him as if he would never see him again (which could be true), and  Jiyong felt himself relax into it. They hugged for a while, longer than they did even at the hospital, until his mother cleared her throat.

"I think you two should be on your way, I don't want you to miss your flight." She said quietly, giving  Seungri a hug as well. He smiled politely and thanked her for her hospitality of letting him stay in her home for all these weeks. She nodded her head and took her husband's hand. It was time for them to leave.

Once  Jiyong and  Seungri were in the car, things were finally beginning to feel real. When they got to the airport, time was beginning to speed up. One minute they were trying to find their terminal and the next moment they were buckling up their seatbelt and trying to get comfortable in their first class seats. The butterflies in  Jiyong and  Seungri's stomach disappeared, now they were just ready to land and begin their lives.

Seungri texted  Youngbae after they were given permission that they could use their electronics.  Jiyong shouldn't be surprised that  Seungri had service up in the air, but  Seungri , although he wasn't spoiled or that materialistic, did always like the extravagances in life.  Jiyong and Seungri huddled together under one large blanket, reading the text message that  Youngbae sent them back.  Youngbae would be waiting in  Seungri's room, while the man that would be protecting  Jiyong would be waiting in his room.  Jiyong felt nervous and wanted to ask for some information about the mysterious man, but  Seungri had already locked his phone and rested his head on his shoulder, apparently wanting to sleep some more on the flight. Alright then,  Jiyong yawned and laid his head down on top of  Seungri . Sleep came first, the rest could wait.

-

The boys woke up a few hours later, cranky that they still had about six or seven hours to go on their flight. They tried to entertain themselves by playing cards, listening to music, and playing I, Spy (which, as one could imagine, was pretty boring then you were up in the air and the only thing that was constant were the clouds). Thankfully,  Jiyong and  Seungri managed to entertain themselves enough for those hours to pass by and they were soon boarding off the plane.

It was around 2 in the afternoon when they finally got off the plane and  Jiyong swore that even the air in Los Angeles was different from South Korea. It was like the sun shone brighter, the people laughed louder, the air smelled cleaner.  Seungri seemed to agree, since he was grinning at every single person he passed, even if they did give him weird looks back.

So blending in wasn't quite their forte but at least they were friendly.

The drive to the apartments was quiet, the two boys too preoccupied with looking out the window than talking to each other.  When they stepped in front of the place that was to be their new home, it was surreal. The flower shop was closed with the blinds down so  Jiyong couldn't really see inside, but there was no doubt in his mind that it would be absolutely fantastic. They walked as fast as they could for two slender boys that were carrying heavy suitcases up the stairs and found  Seungri's room first.

"So this is my new home," he said, looking at the door.

"The inside is your home, this is the door. Unlock it already, this stuff is heavy."  Jiyong ordered, though it sounded like whine. His arms and legs were beginning to shake from the weight of all the suitcases they had.

Seungri rolled his eyes, mumbling a quick "weakling," and fumbled with the keys, finally getting the door opened.

Youngbae greeted them as soon as they stepped inside. He took the bags from  Seungri and set them down in his room, quickly returning and wrapping the taller boy up in a crushing hug. "Aw there you are. Glad you made it safely. It was safely, right? No trouble?"  Youngbae asked, laughing as  Seungri pushed him away, rubbing his shoulder in pain.

"You're the only trouble here." He frowned, "Is it necessary to cause me pain all the time?"

"Nah, but its a perk."

"I'm here too."  Jiyong announced, from his abandoned place in the corner.

Youngbae smirked and turned his attention to  Jiyong . "You too, you good?"

JY nodded his head and gave  Youngbae a hug. "I like the afterthought concern, really."

"I was getting there. Patience." He answered. "Anyway, I was thinking that you guys should spend a few hours getting your rooms ready and unpacking and stuff. After that I could show you around your shop. I've been spending more time here than in my own apartment, trying to learn and clean stuff up so you guys could be ready to get started."

Seungri pinched the older male's cheeks, "You shouldn't have. Look at you, doing me favors and stuff."

Youngbae gave  Seungri an incredulous look, " Seungri , I'm your  _hyung_ ,  we're in a different country, not a different world . Anyway  I'll take you out to dinner after all that. I think we'll all be too tired to cook by that time. Besides, me and Seunghyun found this really cool restaurant a few weeks ago. Owners really nice-"

"Wait, did you say Seunghyun?"  Seungri asked, wrinkling his brows together. "He has the same name as me? Gross. This sucks."

"You don't even go by your name. Shut-"

Jiyong cut  Youngbae off. "Ignore him. You guys have been hanging out? Why didn't you tell me?"

"What did you think we'd be doing? Ignoring each other while living in the same place."  Youngbae asked, giving  Jiyong a look. "It was cool. He's pretty funny, kind of dorky, I like him. And I know for you,  Jiyong , he's going to be really good at his job. Not as good as  _ me _ , but you know."  Youngbae bragged, slinging an arm over  Seungri 's shoulder while  Seungri rolled his eyes.

Jiyong had already stopped listening. This was off to a good start, he liked this Seunghyun guy already. He always did like being around people who could make him laugh. Even if he was, apparently, more on the dorky side.

"I can't wait to meet him!"  Jiyong said, cutting off whatever  Seungri and  Youngbae may be talking about, "Is he coming with us today? Did you ask him already?"

"I did, but I think you should know-"  Youngbae began, but  Jiyong was too lost in his own world to even listen to what he was saying.

"I'm going to go to my room to meet him. See you guys later!"  Jiyong yelled, bags already under his arms and out the door before  Youngbae could tell him what he wanted to say.  Seungri looked at  Youngbae and quirked an eyebrow up.  Youngbae shook his head and sighed, "I'll tell you about it later. Let's get you unpacked."

Jiyong 's room was the one closest and adjacent to  Seungri 's room. He judged Seungri earlier for it, but now being outside of his own room, he understood why  Seungri didn't immediately unlock and open the door. He wanted to savor this moment. The place behind that door and the person inside of it will forever change his life. He wouldn't be in danger anymore. He wouldn't be lonely anymore. He wouldn't have huge, middle-aged men protecting him anymore. He would be cared for like  Youngbae cared for  Seungri , he would have a friend, companion, and a protector in this person.

Jiyong let out a quiet breath and pulled his keys out, grinning from ear to ear.

Here goes nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's weird. This was too long to start the next set of events but too short to call a real chapter. So filler chapter anyone?  
> Anyway, you guys can see that I love to ramble about details and such, but be glad to know that next chapter should finally get things moving - or at least introduce a fresh face.


	5. Rude Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiyong fights for control, and it might be a process.

Jiyong opened the door and was met with darkness.

He blinked a few times, trying to adjust his eyesight to the nearly pitch black room. He cursed in his head mentally, since he hated the darkness and felt around for a light switch, but came up empty. He released a breath of air and started walking aimlessly around the room, there had to be a way to turn on the lights somewhere, or at least some curtains to pull back.

By the time he actually found what he was looking for he was bound to have some bruised body parts, he was sure. He stumbled around, tripped on what he guessed was a leg of a couch, and ran into a few walls on. It was pretty impressive considering the living room wasn't very big, evident from his blind trip around the room. He'd be willing to bet that no one else could cause so much destruction in such a tiny little room like he can. Ego staying steadily intact, he touched yet another wall and tried to steer himself in the direction of a source of light. Thankfully, his fingers came in contact with fabric that felt like a curtain. He quickly grabbed and pulled, sunlight from the LA sun streaming into the room. He blinked a few times and looked around the room.

This was his place.

It was small, that he could instantly tell, but it was also  _ cute_. It wasn't too badly decorated but  Jiyong would guess that his mother would probably think it was tacky nonetheless, from the velvet red couch to the dull yellow, polka dotted brown and green carpet on the floor underneath an aging coffee table. The television was old, still had an entire body on it, but there were plants everywhere, either hanging by the ceiling or sitting on the many shelves and bookcases around the room. There was some dust gracing the counters and tables, but  Jiyong didn't find it gross at all. It was a bit of a fixer upper, but he could have had it so much worse. It was quaint. It was perfect.

He should (or would, if he could) call his father and thank him for not setting him up in "style" because he  _ really _ liked this apartment. It felt like home, but not in the familiar way. No, his home would never be this shabby. While his mother decorated the house with sharp edges and sleek, pearly white furniture, this apartment looked like it could have been modern in the 80s. It was familiar because this is what he would see on TV, this is what he would imagine living in as he slept in his too-big bed in his too-big room back in South Korea. Maybe he would redecorate later, and maybe it would even reflect the personal taste of his mother. But for now, it was his and it was home.

He looked around some more, noticing that the kitchen wasn't any bigger than the living room, but that it was connected to it, which Jiyong thought was very nice. The two rooms were separated by a bar-styled counter tops, underneath it were three stools looking like they couldn't carry a sack of potatoes on them. A trip to a furniture store would come in handy soon, just to avoid injuring himself from these ancient pieces.

He walked back to the front door and spun around, taking in the view in full. Jiyong smiled to himself, liking the structure perfectly the way it was. If anything, it meant it was going to be easy to cook dinner while entertaining the many guests he planned to have over (once he made some friends besides  Seungri,  Youngbae, and whoever this Seunghyun person was).

He began to lose himself in his thoughts and anticipation, how eager he was to get started on his new life. Even just standing in this very spot, just merely  _ planning_, was something new for him. He had no need to cook or clean at his house back home. Now that would be his responsibility. Back home, there was no need to even think about having guests or entertaining his friends, the only friends besides  Seungri were kids who took advantage of him and threw him away in school and the middle-aged adults who carried guns - and a number of other weapons - right inside their jacket pockets.

A noise quickly took him out of his musings and he jumped a little at the unexpected sound. Really, it wasn't so much as a noise as a gentle hum. It was soft, but he could clearly hear it. He spun around and looked down a small hallway that led to a bedroom door.

That had to be his room,  Jiyong grinned, it was one of the only rooms in the small apartment.  Seunghyun was in that room. Without bothering to take his luggage, he hurriedly made his way over to the door. Without bothering to knock, since it was his room after all, he threw the door open and stepped inside.

Jiyong 's eyes instantly found the other pair belonging to the only other person in the room. When their eyes connected,  Jiyong felt his smile turn bashful and his stomach drop. Like Youngbae, he didn't wear suits and the violent scars across his cheeks were absent. The former heir took in the semi-casual clothes and deep eyes, somewhat surprised by his presence if the earphones in his ears told him anything.  He had never seen anybody so attractive in his life.

Jiyong cleared his throat, feeling a little foolish for the dear in the headlights look he must have on, even though he was the one to take the other off guard by barging into the room.  Though, to be fair, he hasn't exactly seen many people in his life, and those he has seen were going for a more intimidating look than an alluring one. Even still, as he eyed this man with the striking eyes, tan skin, and styled hair, he was immediately taken.

The brown-haired boy shuffled on his feet, trying to rattle his head for something to say. What was appropriate to say to someone whose occupation was to guard your life? to the person that would play a pivotal part in your life? For some reason a simple 'hello' didn't seem to be heavy enough, but that was all Jiyong thought to bring to the table.

He took a step forward and held out a hand for the other man to take, watching as he took the earphones out, "Hello- hi." Jiyong said, smile set in place.

Seunghyun patted his hands on pants, then took Jiyong's hand in a firm shake, "Hello, sorry I don't usually listen to music on the job. I was just making the bed since I have been sleeping in it for the past few weeks." He said calmly, letting the younger's hand slip from his grasp, straightening up the last of the bed. He gave  Jiyong a quick up and down, seeming to assess him for a brief moment. Pretty good, if Jiyong could say so. "I'll leave you alone to get settled in." He then said, walking out of the room.

Jiyong furrowed his brows and stared at the door that  Seunghyun just walked out of. That couldn't be it; no introductions, no get-to-know-you conversations that may be a bit awkward at first until they break the ice.

He shook his head and followed the man out. "Hey, wait up!"  Jiyong yelled after him. When  Jiyong finally caught up with him, he was almost out the door, his hand already on the doorknob. "Aren't we- aren't we going to talk or something?"  Jiyong asked, confusion written all over his face.

"I figured we could talk about the arrangements after you were done unpacking,"  Seunghyun said slowly, obviously confused about  Jiyong's confused and bewildered expression, "Why, do you have a question for me?"

Jiyong' s expression didn't change, if anything, it was even more displeased. "No, I don't want to talk about that. I just mean, like, talk. Get to know each other."  Jiyong finished, trying to lead  Seunghyun in the direction he wanted.

Seunghyun took his hand off the door handle but didn't relax like  Jiyong wanted. Instead, he turned to  Jiyong with an expression  Jiyong knew too well. It was the  _ professional _ face, very similar to the face someone used when they were just indulging his presence because they worked for his father. He could recognize it in an instant. It was the very first thing he learned how to pick up on from his experience of just being born into his family.

And it was also the last thing  Jiyong wanted to see.

"I'm sorry,  Jiyong . But that's something that I won't be able to do."  Seunghyun spoke stoically, reserved. Jiyong's heart broke a little more.

"My father told you to do this?"  Jiyong asked.  Seunghyun had a look in his eyes that told him that he took his orders very seriously and nodded his head, but  Jiyong had already known the answer anyway. He didn't even know why he was surprised. Of course his father had meddled his way into his life and tried to control it before it even began.

"His direct orders. This relationship is restricted to a purely professional basis. I'm supposed to keep my distance,"  Seunghyun emphasized. "Your dad thinks that it's the best way to protect you. It's something he was very adamant about."

Jiyong figured his father would go out of his way to uphold his own wishes and rules, even if he was hours away by plane on the other side of the world. The wish may have been Young Hwan's way of ensuring  Jiyong 's safety, in his own mind at least, but to  Jiyong it was a burden.

"He..."  Jiyong paused, trying to find the right words to really explain the complicated man his father was, "does a lot of things to protect us, and the Family. But I don't really buy that. He's just speaking out based on his own paranoia. Honestly, he's adamant about everything, even the way we eat and drink. He's just like that." He gave his opinion honestly, hoping that  Seunghyun would understand.

Instead,  Jiyong watched as his jaw twitched and his eyes went back to the front door. "I was going to go talk to Youngbae about what we should do now that you and  Seungri have arrived, anyway. I should be going."

"Youngbae is going to be too busy with  Seungri."  Jiyong replied lamely. He couldn't get over the strong sense of betrayal towards his father. He knew how badly  Jiyong wanted someone like  Youngbae in his life, he should know the deep connection between a man and his guard, and now that he had  Seunghyun he really wanted to begin their friendship.  Jiyong couldn't help but feel like his father stabbed him in the back. "You can stay, though."  Jiyong offered, hope in his voice.

Seunghyun looked at the couch and started walking over to it when  Jiyong , again, interrupted him. "Actually can you help me carry the bags?" He asked, gesturing to where he had dumped them all earlier. "They weigh more than  Seungri does, probably. And feel free to keep me company, I'm going to die of boredom if I have to unpack alone."

Seunghyun sighed and helped  Jiyong carry the bags, which really did feel like there were cement blocks inside instead of clothes, inside of his new bedroom.

Jiyong entered the bedroom first, happy for the time being that he at least got  Seunghyun to stay while he packed and organized his bedroom. He wanted to stop thinking about his father and his past life back home. His father did all kinds of unnecessary and overbearing things for his family, and really, he was all the way in South Korea. Out of sight, out of mind.

Seunghyun leaned against the doorway, trying to block out the smile the other man was giving him.

"Are you going to start unpacking now?"  Seunghyun asked politely, wanting to be out of there as fast as possible. Though this was the first time meeting  Jiyong ,  Seunghyun already knew all about him. He and  Youngbae had gotten quite close over the past few weeks and it turned out the shorter man knew more about  Jiyong from the things Seungri told him than he did despite all the briefing he did prior to today .  Youngbae didn't mean to intrude, but  Seunghyun had already been given his orders, so he kept himself quiet and absorbed everything he had to know about the kid he would be protecting. He had listened as  Youngbae told him about  Jiyong 's past and his experiences in school, his isolation both inside and outside of the home. Truthfully,  Seunghyun felt a little bad for the guy, but he had a job to do and had gotten very clear instructions from Young Hwan that there would be no kind of relationship outside of the professional one.  Jiyong 's health and safety was the only thing that mattered.

Jiyong blinked and turned on his heel, "Oh yeah, I forgot." He laughed, opening up his suitcase and started to throw piles of clothes on the bed.

Seunghyun kept quiet, watching as  Jiyong piled stacks of clothes on the just-made bed. He checked the watch on his wrist. He had a lot of work to do with  Youngbae , they still had to work out opening  Jiyong and  Seungri 's shops, how to best keep a look out for both  Seungri and  Jiyong without being too obvious, and general strategies to work out to make everyone's lives go on as easy as possible. He wanted to get started right away but it didn't look like  Jiyong would be done unpacking anytime soon.

Jiyong , on the other hand, was feeling pretty good. He hummed under his breath, looking around the room to see how many drawers and closets he had. Not many, judging by the one dresser against the wall and the crummy nightstand by the bed. The rack inside the closet didn't look like it could hold much, either. The entire room was nothing like his room back home, with his queen-sized mattress and a big bedroom accessorized with drawers, chests, nightstands, and a full length mirror. It wasn't that he really cared too much for those luxuries, but he was still going to have to get used to the drastic downsizing. But he wasn't going to start complaining now, was he?

Silence loomed over the boys and  Jiyong was about halfway done with his unpacking before the silence started to unsettle him. He internally frowned that  Seunghyun wasn't the one to start the conversation first but let it go. "So,  Seunghyun , do you have any family?" He asked. His social skills weren't the best, per say, but family was always a pretty effective topic starter when he was trying to make friends back in school.

Now, though, he immediately regretted asking the question when he saw  Seunghyun 's body tense up slightly, eyes hardening even though he was looking at the wall and not at  Jiyong.

Jiyong quickly backtracked and looked for a new way to go, he certainly wasn't going to let  _ that _ be the first real conversation they were going to have. "Or, like, what's your favorite food?" He offered, rubbing his own arm apologetically.

"Yanggeng.  Jiyong you should concentrate on unpacking."  Seunghyun answered offhandedly.

Jiyong brushed it off. "I'm still unpacking, aren't I? Mine's ganjang gaejang. Do you actually count yanggeng  as a meal?" No answer. "What about pets? Do you have or want any?"  Seunghyun looked at  Jiyong with a blank expression, "What? I'm just trying to stay entertained here."

"You're being nosy."

"You're being stubborn."  Jiyong mumbled, folding his shirt like he saw his mother occasionally do but not quite achieving it like she did. "What's wrong with just asking questions? I'll tell you that I've always wanted a cat."

"Nothing, but I've already told you it's better if we don't get close."

"No, it's not."  Jiyong defended, "In fact, you should be the one asking me questions. What if I'm kidnapped and they start asking you questions about me and if you get them wrong,  _ bam_, there goes my pinky."

"Don't joke about that,"  Seunghyun warned, "And I highly doubt they would be curious as to what your favorite food or animal is."

"Hey, my opinions and interests matter, too." He faux pouted, laughing to himself.  Seunghyun didn't, but  Jiyong 's sure he was cracking up on the inside anyway. "You should know some things about me, anyway."

"I do know things about you,"  Seunghyun answered truthfully.

Jiyong looked up and cocked his head. "Like what?" He was curious about how  Seunghyun had acquired information on him, if it came from a folder to profile him or if he knew because  Youngbae told him stories about he and  Seungri.  Seunghyun didn't seem to want to answer, though, and instead stayed silent.  Jiyong wasn't having any of that. "Oh come on, you can tell me. Was  Youngbae talking shit? I bet he was. He likes to pretend he's above it but he's worse than Seungri sometimes. Don't tell  Seungri I said that."

" Jiyong,"  Seunghyun said, almost close to a warning, seemingly teetering on the edge of exasperation already.  Jiyong picked his head up and looked at the other man. Anger, whether it's the emotion  Jiyong was aiming for or not, was still an emotion.  Jiyong would take what he could get.

Undeterred, Jiyong turned back around and finished up the last of his folding and started hanging up clothes in his closet. "So, are you excited to be living in America? I know I am, LA is so exciting. I used to listen to music that came out of here." He loved the thought of Los Angeles, the pure idea of it. There was so much sin, love, and excitement in the city. It was damn near intoxicating and he had only just arrived.

"We're not really in LA,"  Seunghyun clarified, walking into the room completely and leaning on one of the drawers, "And yes. I do enjoy my time here."

"Professional answer,"  Jiyong snorted.  Seunghyun looked out the small window and crossed his arms. He didn't look angry anymore at least, but it was a definite  _ I'm just here because you asked me to be _ stance. "Anyway, did you go to business school or something too? You opened a shop, after all. What kind again?"  Jiyong asked, which he was genuinely curious about.

"Record store. And you're doing the same."

"Yeah but mine is just for face, I have everything prepaid and stuff, so even if I end up sucking at it, everything's already taken care of. It's mostly just a cover and a hobby of mine. I don't actually need to keep it afloat, financially."  Jiyong shrugged, "Besides, you're not  _ really _ qualified to run a music store, are you?"  Jiyong asked curiously, stuffing things into the various drawers of his dresser.

"Brat, I can."  Seunghyun shot back, quickly looking away, trying to look unaffected.  Jiyong put his hands up in surrender.

"You called me a brat," He smirked out of amusement, glad that he had the upper hand.

"Right, won't happen again,"  Seunghyun muttered, back to the distant yet civil man he was before.  Jiyong sighed. It was lucky his stamina for achieving the goals he made up for himself was pretty good; rather it was trying to spark a friendship, see how many times he could sneak out of the house without getting caught (the answer is none, but try he did), or just memorize lyrics of American music.

"Don't be too sorry,"  Jiyong assured. ("Don't worry, I'm not," replied  Seunghyun in an almost inaudible murmur). "Hey, what are we doing later on?"

"I,"  Seunghyun emphasized, standing up and going back to the door, "am going to my own room across the street and try to fix it up. All of my time has been here, so there really is a lot to do."

Jiyong sighed and fell onto the bed. He put his face into the pillow for a second and wasn't surprised that  Seunghyun' s scent was all over it. It wasn't the most unpleasant thing Jiyong's ever smelled.  Jiyong didn't really mind, it was actually sort of pleasant, a little bit like cologne but something sweet mixed in. Jiyong smiled for a short second, Seungri should take note from Seunghyun on not bathing in the strong perfume. The sound of Seunghyun shuffling had him turning around. "But  Youngbae said that he was going to take us out to eat and show us around the shops. You're really not going?"

Seunghyun snorted and laughed, but quickly recovered once again. " Youngbae says a lot of things, I guarantee all you guys are going to do is sit downstairs in the shop and eat some sandwiches  Youngbae 's been keeping the fridge. He's been up all night trying to clean  Seunghyun's room after he destroyed it by staying there."

"Authentic. And call him  Seungri , he doesn't go by  Seunghyun ." Jiyong mentioned, though he was sure  Youngbae already told him as much.

Seunghyun nodded absently and glanced at the door, seeming to think that it was a good time to leave.

Jiyong got off the bed and followed him out of the bedroom. "And, sure, fine, I get that you're busy, but don't you at least want to be there for a little bit? For my own protection?"  Jiyong guessed, not in the least guilty about using  Seunghyun's job against him.

"You'll be protected within these apartments and downstairs, there's nothing to worry about." Jiyong really wasn't, "And Youngbae is more than capable of babysitting both you and  Seunghyun."

"So rude,"  Jiyong laughed, shaking his head at Seunghyun's attitude, "Seungri causes enough trouble alone, he'd probably need three of you guys."

"Right, well I'm sure that  Youngbae can handle it."  Seunghyun replied, sending off a short wave in  Jiyong 's direction before he stepped out the door. He turned around and briefly said, "I'll come back later on tonight, I'll sleep on the couch and be gone in the morning. Good night,  Jiyong." and shut the door behind him.

Jiyong blinked, not in the least happy about  Seunghyun's leave so early in the day.

He didn't want to be alone, it was too quiet in the apartment, and he still had a lot to do before he could just abandon this place and find the others. He walked to the window and cracked it enough for a steady stream of fresh air to filter the thick one in the room.

Looking out the window, he took note of few people walking outside of the shops and apartments, a calm neighborhood miles outside of the hectic life of the city. He sighed loudly and fell back on the couch, crossing his arms and giving the silent treatment to no one in particular but his now empty apartment. When he saw Youngbae later on that night, he had a lot of explaining to do.

\---

"I don't know, hyung, I think you're exaggerating."  Seungri said, talking between bites of his sandwich, earning him a few disgusted looks from  Jiyong and  Youngbae.

"Yeah,"  Jiyong said slowly, trying to avert his eyes from his younger friend. "I don't think so. I mean, the whole thing was just... off. The first thing he tried to do when he saw me was leave, he lectured me on the importance of my father's pointless orders - the man is a paranoid worrier, bordering on unhealthy! It's completely unnecessary."  Jiyong listed, fingers tapping on the counter top, on a roll, "And I didn't even tell you everything, apparently he's never heard of a courtesy laugh. He declined my offer to hang out and left me alone in my apartment without offering to help- not even saying a proper goodbye. It's one thing to be straightforward, and another thing to be rude."  Jiyong complained, taking a bite of his own BLT sandwich (which, frankly, was kind of soggy). "I'm right about this, aren't I?"

"Who  _ cares_?"  Seungri groaned, "You still have me hyung! And I haven't even met the guy and it already seems like he has a huge stick up his ass."

"It's not that,"  Youngbae defended. "It's just,  Seunghyun takes his job very seriously."  Youngbae shrugged. He dropped his sandwich, suddenly looking up a few seconds later at  Jiyong. "Wait, you do know who he  _ is_, right?"

Jiyong lazily picked out another piece of soggy lettuce. "Besides the fact that his name is  Seunghyun , he's my personal guard, likes yanggeng, and won't tell me in his future plans regarding pets? No."

"Right." He shook his head. "See, this is why it's important to  _ listen _ when other people are trying to tell you things instead of running around like a chicken with its head cut off." Youngbae took another bite. "Look,  Seunghyun is not some ordinary bodyguard."

Jiyong nodded and shrugged. He figured his father would give him someone that was expertly trained and exceptionally useful. He always had said that one good Number 2 was worth millions of imbeciles. He had problems with his father, but never would he think his father was stupid or incapable of doing things thoroughly, so  Jiyong had no doubt in his mind that  Seunghyun was the perfect person for him if his father thought so too.

"I don't think you understand."  Youngbae shook his head again. "I mean, I am good at my job, I'm kickass, not going to lie. But, compared to the work  Seunghyun has done, I look like an amateur. He doesn't look like much, but he is impressive. His record for successful missions is just about the standard as some of the retirees." Jiyong stopped eating, coking an eyebrow. "Seriously, he just comes out of nowhere one day and starts taking organizations down and stalking people, like he's a freaking federal secret agent or something. He's really, really good."

It was obvious  Youngbae admired the man. The young bodyguard wrapped on arm around  Seungri and pointed his sandwich at  Jiyong , as if he was giving a lecture. "And, not to mention, he's dangerous as all hell. I mean, he's not going to hurt people just for the fun of it," ( Jiyong didn't get how that could be fun in the first place, but to each their own), "but he will if he needs to. He's really well-known around South Korea under countless different aliases. But really, he's loyal to jobs within the Families. Actually, if I'm right about this, really only to your dad. Did he ever mention a TOP before?"  Youngbae asked carefully.

Jiyong eyebrows shot up at that, a guard at that level loyal to his family. It was extremely rare that his father would have a long term employee that didn't know the family relatively well. If there was a guard that was close to his father and was loyal to th e Kwon Family, it was unheard of for that man to be a stranger to him and his sister. His father always said that it was important for the family to recognize their employees. If  Seunghyun was working for his father before this, then  Jiyong didn't understand why he didn't know about it. "I don't think so. Why was this a secret from me? And how come I've never seen  Seunghyun, or TOP or whatever, before if he was doing special missions for my dad?"

Youngbae took a large bite off of his sandwich, "Look, I don't know the whole story and I'm not trying to start rumors about  Seunghyun when I really don't know much at all, because I like the guy. But like I said, he's loyal to your dad and he's known throughout South Korea, maybe even throughout all of Eastern Asia. But he has to be on the DL, too." He waved his hands, trying to get back his train of thought. "But what I'm trying to say is to stop bothering him about making friendship bracelets and all that."  Youngbae answered, his voice as stern as a mouthful of sandwich could be.

Jiyong opened his mouth both in shock and offense, taking in the new information that  Youngbae told him. He was still reeling from the fact that  Seunghyun has apparently had a longer relationship with his father than he realized, and  Jiyong can't help but wonder how much  Seunghyun really did know about him. That, though, he knows, is not his business. If  Seunghyun didn't want to talk about his personal life right off the bat then  Jiyong can only respect his wishes and be patient. There are some things that Jiyong refused to talk about, or even think about, that he's done and seen in his lifetime. No one leaves the Mafia and the toxicity that coats it without getting a little of that poison on them, as well.

But, on the other hand, he was hurt that  Youngbae wasn't even taking his side on this whole situation. Jiyong sneered, dropping his lunch. "Perfect. You're going to give me shit too?"

"I'm not giving anyone shit-"

"Seems like you are."

"Jiyong,"  Seungri interrupted, prohibiting  Youngbae from responding and irking Jiyong more than he already has. "I don't completely agree with  Youngbae,"  Seungri gave  Youngbae a knowing frown, giving Jiyong the impression that it's very possible they've argued about this before, "but I do understand it. Both of you guys are really dangerous for each other. He's the real deal,  Jiyong ie. Let him protect you and everything, but maybe it's better if you leave it at that. Plus, let's not pretend like your family is scary powerful, you want  Seunghyun to be in their good graces, don't you?"

Jiyong sunk in his seat, eyes looking out the window to escape the faces of his two friends, no longer feeling hungry after being lectured by the maknae of all people. Even though he was across the world, his family and his status were still controlling him.

Youngbae sighed. "Look, I think that this whole 'professional first' rule is stupid too. If it wasn't for the fact that  Seungri has wormed his little greasy way into my heart, I don't think I would really give a rat's ass about this job at all."  Seungri aimed a few blows at  Youngbae 's shoulder, the older male grinning and trying to dodge them. "It's true! I think our friendship is a huge factor of how I handle you!"

Jiyong watched the two, and even if he was in the same room as them, breathing the same air and everything, he couldn't help but feel unequal. He couldn't help the bits of envy and sadness at thinking they would have something he would never get the privilege of experiencing. He could recognize their position, and he could see where they were coming from.  Yet he also felt invigorated in what he wanted to do and say.

"I'm not afraid of  Seunghyun."  Jiyong said, catching  Seungri and  Youngbae's attention. "I get what you guys are saying, and I appreciate it... kind of. But I'm not, like, afraid of  Seunghyun and I don't think  Seunghyun has any reason to be afraid of me." He scrunched up his eyebrows and gave himself time to gather his thoughts. "I'm just saying, here I am, miles and miles away from home, and still I can't make my own decisions. My father controlled me before, and if I let him do that here, what's the point of coming here and trying to start a new life? I wanted to come here for the normal life and the fun, yes. But I also wanted to build meaningful relationships with the few people who will ever know the truth about me. And that's only you three. No one else.  Imagine what it'd be like in my position."  Jiyong looked at  Seungri , "I am alone here, you are too  Seungri. This is really important to me, on a deeper level than just  _ friendship bracelets_."

Youngbae managed to look a little guilty at that. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it like that."

Jiyong nodded his head, he didn't want to be mad at Youngbae, and he was even feeling lighter than before since he got to get a lot off his chest. It wasn't often that he got to defend himself like this, and he was still learning and getting used to the fact that he was able to do that now. This wasn't home where he had to follow orders, where his opinions were always second and almost always wrong. His life was his, his battles were his, and he needed to hold the sword in his hand confidently or else he would fall back into the passive person he was back home.

And like he reminded himself a thousand times before, he was not there anymore.

Seungri looked between  Youngbae and  Jiyong , finally a smile coming across on his face, breaking the last of the tension with it. "Sorry,  Youngbae , I tried. But Jiyong wins."  Seungri wrapped an arm around  Jiyong 's, tugging it in the air in a motion of victory. Jiyong let out a loud laugh, letting Seungri tug his hand into the air, sandwich getting squished in the process.

Youngbae rolled his eyes, "Were you ever on my side anyway?"

"Should you really be so surprised?"  Jiyong commented, smirking at  Youngbae.

Youngbae raised his hands and went back to the fridge. "Hey, I only thought I'd warn you."  Youngbae 's head popped out of the refrigerator, more soggy sandwiches in hand, yelling, "Anybody want seconds?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The formatting on this website is going to drive me INSANE. So sorry if there are spaces where there isn't supposed to be spaces, I've tried to fix them on previous chapters but it doesn't work so I'm giving up.  
> Anyway, to the actual story, I appreciate comments/kudos as usual. Let me know what's on your mind!


	6. Meeting in the Middle

Jiyong frowned and leaned his elbow on the cool surface of the flower shop counter. Lazily, he rested his head in his hand, watching through the window of his empty shop and into the one located across the street.  Youngbae and  Seunghyun laughed over a joke that Jiyong couldn't hear and probably was not invited to be a part of anyway.

Honestly, life wasn't fair.

It'd been one uneventful week since  Jiyong first stepped foot onto American soil, a week since he was supposed to gain a close (not best, since  Seungri _ has _ vowed to cut off  Jiyong 's hair if he were to be replaced) friend. However, so far, nothing much has changed much in  Jiyong 's life except for the location.

He and  Seungri haven't been able to go out into the center of LA like they had wanted to because of how busy  Youngbae always seemed to be.  Youngbae had time and time again apologized for not being able to take them, and  Jiyong did understand. The older man had so much on his hands, not only for his assignment as being a guard incognito, but for the music store he and  Seunghyun were running together. Along with the good-sized sum of cash that  Jiyong and  Seungri 's fathers had provided for them when they agreed to accompany their wanderlust sons, the music store was really the only source of income  Youngbae and  Seunghyun would be getting after that safety net ran out. They could live without it, but the music store would help them live more comfortably stable.  Youngbae had been so busy with the technicalities of actually having to own and keep up a business that  Jiyong hadn't seen much for him outside of his check-ins and when they would have very inconsistent, almost always  Seunghyun -less, dinners.

That was another point of frustration for  Jiyong .  Seunghyun had been virtually nowhere since the first night they met. He slipped into  Jiyong 's apartment late at night to sleep, like he was supposed to, and left when the morning came. Of course  Jiyong knew he was always around somewhere, as that was what was required of the job, but while  Jiyong knew that  Seunghyun could always find him, it was never the other way around.

Another source of annoyance that somehow crept its way into  Jiyong 's life is the newfound dependency and comfort that  Seunghyun and  Youngbae had found in each other.  Seungri had explained that it made sense why they would seek each other out so often, since they both had the same task and shared the same burden.  Jiyong understood that, since he could somewhat imagine being responsible for another person's life (but he won't think of what happened at the Incident, it's behind him). That wasn't the problem at all.

His problem was that  Seunghyun and  Youngbae turned out to be bona fide, close  _friends_ ,  which was a huge imposition since  Jiyong had yet to make any progress with his bodyguard. Whenever  Seunghyun and  Youngbae were around each other and  Jiyong got to see a glimpse into their interactions, he saw a new side of  Seunghyun that he had refused to show, at least only to  Jiyong .

Seunghyun seemed to be every bit the dork that  Youngbae had described to him before. Where  Jiyong saw a stoic profile,  Youngbae saw a relaxed expression. From what  Jiyong gathered from his place across the street and the limited stories  Youngbae told him and  Seungri ,  Seunghyun laughed, joked, teased, and was open with  Youngbae . His smile was sweet, his eyes disappeared into little slits, and he looked much less intimidating than when he was serious.  Seunghyun was like a whole other person in those times, and all  Jiyong wanted to do was get to know that side better than the side he was introduced to.

And then sometimes it would just be Seungri and  Seunghyun together,  Seungri annoying the older bodyguard with one question after another, trying to guess his 'mysterious, suspicious past' (because  Seungri loved too many action movies for his own good).  Seunghyun was still distant, true, but he was different than when he was with Jiyong. There was a little bit more patience, he concealed his amusement less, batted the younger man away with a small smile on his face that  Jiyong couldn't ever imagine receiving himself.

But it was never Jiyong and Seunghyun. And  Jiyong came to a conclusion, it wasn't  _ them _ that he had to keep a distance to.

It was  _ him _ , and him alone.

Honestly, he didn't know which was worse. At least if  Seunghyun was ignoring all of them, he wouldn't feel like such a black sheep. But this knowledge that  Seunghyun had a rule about him, for him, only, was discouraging, at best.

Youngbae continued to sing a different story, of course, either because he wanted to be a good friend to  Jiyong or just because he pitied him, maybe. His explanation was that Seunghyun was too busy scoping out the area and helping  Youngbae set up shop to do much of anything else. Some of that was probably true, to the very clear extent that the rest was to avoid  Jiyong .

The younger man was a little less understanding of this because, for fuck's sakes, dinner bonding was not supposed to be this hard. It was essential for every family to have dinner together so that they could bond and reconnect; even though they weren't family, not including  Seungri since  Jiyong has considered him as a brother for years. Regardless, it seemed he was going to continue getting nowhere with Seunghyun if he didn't do something soon.

And  Jiyong was never one to sit idly by.

Jiyong watched  Youngbae exit the shop from the back, leaving  Seunghyun alone for the time being. Grinning to himself at the open window the other man just unknowingly offered him,  Jiyong quickly stepped outside his shop and flipped the OPEN sign to CLOSE. Not many people frequented his shop yet anyway and  Seungri was upstairs taking a nap. The lazy bum hadn't been able shake that habit just yet, especially with  Youngbae so occupied on other things, so  Jiyong knew he wouldn't be missed.

He looked both ways before crossing the street and rushed over to the music shop where his bodyguard was, currently sorting through some old albums to stock.

Jiyong opened the door, hearing the chime's ring that signaled his entry. Pretty impressive, he thought, he should get some bells for his shop too. So professional.

Seunghyun 's head turned to see who had come in and immediately stilled seeing who his little visitor was.  Jiyong walked over with a bounce in his step and a smile on his face, "Hey, what's going on?" He asked, looking at the albums in  Seunghyun 's hands. Nothing he's ever heard before or anything he would have been interested in back home, some kind of rock-punk album, but maybe he'll have to ask Seunghyun for his expert opinion on it. If he liked it, it couldn't be too bad .

" Jiyong ,"  Seunghyun whispered, despite no one else being in the shop, which was more than slightly ridiculous, "What are you doing?"

"I asked first,"  Jiyong joked, smile falling from his lips seeing  Seunghyun 's aloof expression, "Right, I was just bored. You looked pretty bored too."

"I'm not bored,  Jiyong , I'm working."

"You're always working apparently."  Jiyong grumbled, walking down another aisle and looking through the rows of already-stocked records to see if he recognized any artists.

"Well, I do have to make a living some way."  Seunghyun commented, resuming what he was doing before  Jiyong entered, "Where's  Seungri ?" he asked, thankfully finally letting loose enough to at least use the nickname.

"Sleeping. Besides, we don't always have to be together. We're two separate people."

Seunghyun nodded his head, though not an indication that he believed him. "Okay. Why don't you go and find  Youngbae?  He went to go get some papers from upstairs but he probably doesn't even know where to start looking. He's a good worker but he's not the most organized person, even if likes to think he is."

Jiyong gave a small laugh and tried to fight off the urge to roll his eyes. Of course  Seunghyun would be thinking of  Youngbae . "I could, but I think I'll stay here. I'm looking for some music to get. Since  Seungri is always sleeping or- I don't know, watching porn, or whatever it is he does, my shop is so quiet all the time. I hate it, it's driving me crazy."  Jiyong spoke truthfully.

"These are records and CDs. Do you even own a music player of any kind? And you need speakers, too."  Seunghyun questioned, turning away from  Jiyong and walking further down the aisle.  Jiyong followed obediently, not really caring about trying to find the perfect album for himself. That's what Seunghyun 's job was for.

"Nope," Jiyong confessed, "But when you eventually stop working long enough for us to actually go out into the city, I could buy some stuff there."

Seunghyun paused and gave a quick guilty smile before continuing on with his work, "I do feel bad about that, I do.  Youngbae informed me that you and  Seungri were restless. It is our responsibility to show you around and get you acquainted here. I'm sorry we've been useless with that so far."  Seunghyun bent down at the waist in what looked like a small bow,  Jiyong felt a little more than surprised.

"You don't have to bow, it's fine."  Jiyong said quickly, waving his arms to gesture what he was saying.

Seunghyun picked up his head, eyebrows further up his forehead. "I was just steadying the display case."

Jiyong watched as the older man righted himself up fully, already moving onto the next section. He huffed in slight embarrassment, it sure seemed like a bow to him. He shook himself out of the embarrassment he felt and  again trailed after the older man. "Besides," he said, picking up where he left off, " Seungri and I will be here for the rest of our lives probably, no rush."  Though that was a slight lie.  He was dying to take a look at the shops LA had to offer.

"Alright,"  Seunghyun said simply. "Well, if that's all you need..."

"But you haven't even recommended anything to me,"  Jiyong said, eyeing the other, not liking that  Seunghyun was trying to kick him out. "I am a paying costumer. You know, you're not that great of a salesman."

"You haven't even bought anything yet."  Seunghyun retorted, eyebrows drawn together, not even looking up.  _ Rude _ .

"I'm trying to." The younger rebuked, not faltering under the gaze  Seunghyun gave him, no matter how intense and small he felt under it.

They both probably could have kept the exchange up for a while longer, but it was with good luck that they stopped and moved their attention to the sound of bells ringing, meaning someone else entered the store.

A small in stature, older woman made her way into the music store and  Jiyong mentally cooed. She looked like she was one of the characters in some of the books his grandmother used to read to him, like Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother or The Old Lady Who Lived in a Shoe, but much kinder.

"Excuse me, do either of you work here?" The old women spoke politely in English, warm eyes looking between  Seunghyun and  Jiyong .

"Yes, I do ma'am. How can I help you?"  Seunghyun answered.  Jiyong looked at him with surprise all over his face. It made sense that he would be able to speak different languages, since  Youngbae had showed off one night of all the languages he could speak relatively fluently (five) and, really, it would be pointless to be assigned a bodyguard who didn't speak English in the United States, but still.  Jiyong had his fair share of understanding the language, since he had lots of free time and was always interested in living here, but he still got confused from time to time.  Seunghyun , however, sounded completely comfortable speaking in the foreign language because of the great amount of confidence he had in his words.  Jiyong was impressed.

"That's perfect," she smiled, "I was looking for something my granddaughter would like. She's turning sixteen this month and her earphones are always stuck in her head. I don't know much about what you young people listen to, but I thought it would be nice to get her something she could use." The woman chuckled, going on about how she usually gave her beloved granddaughter socks or some sweaters she knitted as presents. She always thanked her and told her how much she loved them, but she hardly ever wore them besides when she visited her grandmother or holidays. "I'm not mad. Heck, I was young once, too. I know what you children do. Sneaky little things, you are."

Jiyong laughed loudly along with the woman, enjoying how open and free-spirited she seemed to be. This was one of the first interactions he's had with someone outside of his little bubble since he arrived. "You sound like you have a good relationship with her." He spoke to her, smile bright and eyes happy.

"I do," she answered, turning her full attention to  Jiyong . "Your smile is absolutely stunning." She complimented, lightly pinching his cheeks.  Jiyong 's smile only grew since it reminded him of his own grandmother, though she would have pinched so much harder his cheeks would be a deep shade of red by now. "Do you work here?" she asked.

Seunghyun interjected politely, not liking that  Jiyong and he were being associated together so quickly. "No, ma'am. He works across the street and one building down, at the flower shop. We don't really-"

"We don't really like to take business too seriously."  Jiyong finished, rocking back and forth on his heels. "What we mean is, we like to visit each other's shops a lot. I'm here often, finding music to play in my store and I give  Seunghyun flowers so his shop could look more... inviting."  Jiyong smiled again, pleased at his quick thinking.

"Oh, that's lovely." She smiled, looking at  Seunghyun . "It's so nice to see such nice young people working together. I come from downtown, and let me tell you that those kids I've tried to get help from are so rude. They wear the strangest things, with piercings everywhere! They don't want to see old ladies in their shop, no, they tell me to go to an iTunes store because they would help me better. I know what iTunes is and that's not what I'm looking for!" She spoke animatedly, complaining about the rudeness in the big city.  Jiyong was so amused with every word she said, enjoying her company and now even more excited to venture into the city, despite there being apparently 'rude young people.'

"Yes, well, I am more than pleased to help you."  Seunghyun said, trying and failing to bring  Jiyong out of the conversation.

"Do you think the two of you," ( Seunghyun died a little more inside), "could help me find some good, fun music for my granddaughter? I would really appreciate it."

Seunghyun nodded his head and led the women to the more modern, pop section, seeing as the girl was only turning sixteen.  Jiyong followed along happily, chatting with the woman about his love for flowers and his excitement to be opening the floral shop. She found his interest in nature to be refreshing and sweet, since the "American male ego," to use her own words, didn't seem to fall on his shoulders. He thanked her and looked at  Seunghyun from the corner of his eye, smiling when  Seunghyun looked a little put out from the woman seemingly forgetting about his existence around  Jiyong .

Seunghyun cleared his throat and offered the woman a grin showing off his youthful smile and sweet eyes. The woman took the bait and was soon fawning over the older male, answering his questions about what kind of style and taste her granddaughter had.  Jiyong 's attention was pulled in as well, how could it not? This was the only time  Seunghyun had smiled something true in his presence, not just an annoyed, tight one or apologetic. It was both strange and extremely satisfying to see the expression on the other man's face. He hoped that he would be able to see him like this in the future, with him being the main reason why it was happening.

Jiyong and  Seunghyun continued to play this game for a while - trying to capture the attention of the old woman, for  Jiyong because he craved it and for  Seunghyun because he just needed the attention to be off of  Jiyong . After a while it truly did seem like it was one, a game of competition. It was the most fun  Jiyong has had in a long time, watching  Seunghyun roll his eyes behind the lady's back when  Jiyong managed to steal her away from him. He didn't even mind it when the women said  Seunghyun was the most attractive looking and polite employee she ever had the pleasure of dealing with, since he was having so much fun at that moment. By the time they actually managed to find a handful of albums that her granddaughter would probably like,  Seunghyun 's bad mood and his stiff posture were pretty much gone.

"Thank you two so much!" She gushed, watching as  Jiyong held the door open for her and  Seunghyun carried her bags to her car. "You can bet that you have yourself a new regular, even if I don't listen to much of the music that you sell," she confessed guiltily, waving her arms, "but I am planning on returning to buy up as many pretty flowers as you say you have!" she finished, pointing at Jiyong. After they settled up all her records and bags, she turned to them and took her leave, giving both Seunghyun and  Jiyong pinches on the cheek before she got in her car and started her journey home.

Jiyong turned to  Seunghyun , still smiling and noticed that  Seunghyun still had a smile on his own face, watching the car going down the street.  Seunghyun sighed and scratched behind his head, walking into his store without a word to  Jiyong .  Jiyong didn't mind, only following him inside and leaning against the counter.

"We make a good team,"  Jiyong commented happily in his native tongue. Though he didn't do much of the business part as much as he complimented her and told her stories of his own grandmother. Still though, if  Jiyong wasn't there he highly doubted that he or  Seunghyun would be getting a potential regular. "I haven't even been able to find a regular in my own store, and I just landed you one!"

"Ah, you were so obnoxious,"  Seunghyun chuckled, trying to concentrate on stocking again, though now it was harder to ignore the younger boy since he had been having fun with him while the women was there, "But in the end I benefited from it, so it wasn't bad."

"Obnoxious is a bad word to describe me, I like to think of it as being charismatic or having a magnetic personality."  Jiyong complimented himself, jumping up to sit on the stool behind the counter.

Seunghyun saw that and sighed, eyes moving across the street to his shop. "You should probably be getting back."

Jiyong frowned. "Stop, don't do that."  Seunghyun raised an eyebrow and finally stopped working, giving  Jiyong his full attention. "You know, don't act like you're just putting up with me or acting like I'm your bosses kid again. We were having fun."

"You know that I can't do that. I am supposed to keep my distance from you, you know."  Seunghyun stated once again, as if  Jiyong missed the memo the first - thousand - times.

"Youngbae protects  Seungri just fine and they are just as close as best friends. They probably really are best friends, well if I wasn't around."  Jiyong wasn't about to give up his title just yet.

"And that works for them,"  Seunghyun stated robotically, detached.

Jiyong pressed on. "He even told me himself that if it wasn't for the fact that they were so close he wouldn't be taking his job as seriously as he is. They still act like friends and maintain a professional relationship." Which was true. Seungri and Youngbae still hung out often, almost every day, even though it was never for too long a time. But they did things like get meat from the market next door and text throughout the day when they were apart, despite Jiyong glaring at his young friend in jealousy, earning a _'_ _don't blame me hyung,_ my _dad didn't say anything about me having stupid rules_ _.'_ It was at those times when  Seungri was gone with Youngbae that Jiyong felt the loneliest and most bored in the shop. They offered to have him come along, but he knew he should be helping with the shop and that both him and Seungri shouldn't be gone from it at the same time. Still despite the sacrifice, he wanted to go and have fun too.

"Jiyong, really, just stop."  Seunghyun huffed.

Said boy didn't think he should.  "But my father doesn't understand-"

"No,  Jiyong , I really don't think  _ you _ understand,"  Seunghyun suddenly snapped, all previous friendliness and ease in the atmosphere evaporated. The younger boy quickly shut his mouth and his eyes grew wide. "It literally does not matter what I think, or what I want, or what I determine to be the safest course of action. Your father gave me direct and strict instructions, alright? I listen to that, regardless of anything else, because that is how your father thinks he can protect his son the best. I'm not the bad guy here, neither is your father. He cares about you more than you know! Do you know how lucky you are for that?"  Jiyong shrunk in his seat, his eyes burning. "You just need to deal with the fact that things are the way they are for a reason, even if you don't like it. I don't know how you acted back in Korea, but you can't just keep complaining and expect to be given whatever you want. Your dad doesn't deserve that and, frankly, neither do I."

Jiyong flinched at the harsh tone and words, the tightness in his chest a direct physical representation of the pain that  Seunghyun 's cutting speech gave him. His eyes fell downcast, hands in lap. He didn't like confrontation, what from his past and his constant desire to avoid it, that was true, but even more than that he felt guilty. He didn't mean to make  Seunghyun feel like a bad person, which he was probably doing every time he pouted after he got rejected or did something equally as pitiful. He even felt guilty for being such a demanding and, appearing to be, spoiled son trying to get the one shiny new toy in the store that he wasn't allowed to have.

Jiyong tried to find the right words to say but nothing seemed suffice. Instead, he got up and left the store, leaving  Seunghyun with no reply, no apology, or even acknowledgment that he understood where he was coming from. He knew that evasion wasn't going to solve anything and was both  incredibly immature and rude, but he didn't think that he could do anything productive in that moment other than cry, and he wasn't about to do that right in this moment, so he didn't try to turn back and just went in the direction of the place he had come to know as home.

When he got to the floor that he and  Seungri occupied, he rasped his knuckles against his best friend's door and prayed he would answer. Luckily, as always,  Seungri was there when he needed him and  Jiyong wasted no time in letting himself in and going straight to the younger man's couch. No tears came out, which was good, but  Jiyong did feel his nose getting runny and he sniffled quietly as he waited for  Seungri to come join him. When he did, he was carrying two cups of water and he sat down arm to arm with  Jiyong , waiting for him to start.

Jiyong gratefully took the cup and started from the beginning, from when he saw that  Seunghyun was alone and went to his shop, the fun they had with the old women, to how  Seunghyun snapped, and even his own feelings of jealousy about  Seungri and  Youngbae .  Seungri nodded along and moved to rest his hand on the smaller man's leg, knowing that he would appreciate the contact.

Seungri didn't have much advice to offer, nor did he have any solutions to  Jiyong 's problems. But what he could do was offer his presence and that's exactly what he did.

Fortunately,  Jiyong didn't seem to need much more than a person to listen to him, because his breathing steadily evened out until he was no longer panting, his voice not shaking. His demeanor fell to a more relaxed one.

Jiyong didn't like to have arguments with people and, although he could more than well enough carry his own and give as good as he got, he felt a deep feeling of hurt when the people he was having conflicts with were people he really cared about, especially when it was his fault. In those cases, any kind of confrontation would leave him feeling tired, drained, and sleepy. Even now, he could feel the events of the day chasing him into unconsciousness, his words getting quieter until none were spoken at all, and the silence allowed him to get lost inside his own head.

Seungri followed him into the halfway state between awake and asleep, as usual, the very definition of loyalty. It was a very short slumber, or so it felt, because the next moment he was being softly shaken awake.

He blinked up at the figure over him, his vision still blurry from the nap, but quickly recognized  Seunghyun as the figure. He gasped inaudibly and sat up, effectively waking  Seungri up too.  Jiyong noticed that  Youngbae was there as well, though he was off to the side against the wall.  Youngbae didn't say anything, but he did offer  Jiyong some sort of smile, which he appreciated.

Seungri gave a disapproving look towards  Seunghyun and felt his blood boil under his skin. He didn't want to leave  Jiyong alone with him, but knew that  Jiyong did like to work his issues out alone, especially personal ones, and would want some space with  Seunghyun . At least until it was all over, then Jiyong would tell him all the details anyway, so he began to get up, "I'll leave you guys alone."

"No need,"  Seunghyun said quickly, gesturing for  Seungri not to move.  Seungri sunk back into his seat, a little annoyed that  Seunghyun was telling him what to do now, but his curiosity was stronger than his urge to be offended, so he didn't argue. The negative expression on his face did not change though. He crossed his arms and gave a powerful look at  Youngbae , since it seemed that whenever  Seunghyun was in trouble with youngest of the group, so was  Youngbae . Again,  Seungri was loyal like that.

"I came because I wanted to apologize for earlier, I know better than to speak to people, especially a client, like that. I wouldn't normally speak like that to either of you, for a lot of different reasons."  Seunghyun said, addressing the two on the couch. "I don't know, I lost my temper. It's no excuse. And you were right about some, certain things,  Jiyong . While I do have to listen to your father, I do have to make sure that I am taking care of you as best as possible, too. I shouldn't have dismissed you so easily. It's going to be very hard for me to acclimate to your needs and wishes, but I hope you accept my apology."

Youngbae pushed off the wall and moved to stand next to  Seunghyun , figuring that he should try to integrate his own apology while they're at it. "But, you know, we  _ both _ are sorry. Because we haven't been the guards we wanted to be so far. We know you guys want to go explore, meet new people, eat good food. You've been really patient with us."  Youngbae finished, allowing a smile to creep its way onto his face. "Which is why-"

"Which is why,"  Seunghyun interrupted back, obviously not happy that his apology got hijacked by Youngbae and wanted to finish what he was going to say, "tomorrow we're going to take you out into the city. It's not the heart of LA, but it's in the city and urban enough to make you guys pretty interested. It should be... fun?"  Seunghyun said sheepishly.

Jiyong and  Seungri sat still.  Jiyong was a little surprised that  Seunghyun even felt the need to apologize in the first place, since, although harsh, the actual words he said weren't completely unwarranted.  Seungri , on the other hand, was just planning on taking whatever side that  Jiyong was on.

"It's that place that I was telling you about that first night, remember? We know the guy that manages the restaurant."  Youngbae asked when the silence dragged on, sitting down on the armrest of the couch, "We could introduce you to him."

Seunghyun and  Youngbae waited for them to say something, whether to accept the apology or not.

Jiyong thought about it for a little bit and then looked up, mostly directing his statement to  Seunghyun . "Fine, but I don't want you to continue calling us 'clients' or things similar to that. I don't think of you as my employer or the other way around, or that you somehow take orders from me because of my father, or whatever you think it is. I don't really care that you work for my dad, for the Family, or whatever it is you do, or did, for them."  Seunghyun looked down at the ground, but  Jiyong wasn't saying this to make  Seunghyun feel guilty, so he continued on. "If anything, we're partners. I depend on you a lot and I already trust you with everything I have, but you should be able to depend and trust me too."

Seunghyun looked back up at him again, and Jiyong couldn't help but feel a little pleased that Seunghyun seemed a little shocked at his statement. Seunghyun then nodded his head in understanding, letting a breath out that could be relief.

"So everything's cool?"  Seungri asked, not quite sure where everybody was at now.

Youngbae broke the tension then, sliding down onto the couch next to the younger man, resting his elbow on  Seungri 's head, which  Seungri threw off with a grimace and a frown. "Yes. Just a little drama. Makes shit eventful."  Youngbae said, cackling every time  Seungri tried and failed to get away from him.

Jiyong nodded and looked up at  Seunghyun , startled to see that  Seunghyun was already looking at him. Seunghyun was giving him a small smile, looking like he was asking for forgiveness in a more personal way. It warmed  Jiyong 's heart seeing him so vulnerable and honest.

He sighed and flashed a grin, his mood picking up in large increments. "Obviously everything's fine  Seungri . We get to eat actual food tomorrow, no more ramen or  Youngbae 's soggy sandwiches!"

Youngbae turned his attacks from  Seungri to  Jiyong in one swift motion , though it was obvious there was less heat than a moment ago, and Jiyong laughed even louder when Seungri started to complain that Youngbae only used force when he was playing with him and how unfair it was. Seunghyun just chuckled and headed towards the kitchen, claiming something about needing a drink (though Jiyong hoped he was referring to water because they had zero alcohol in their possession yet, but that was Seunghyun's problem).

Jiyong didn't know exactly where  Seunghyun and he stood, if this meant that  Seunghyun would continue to act like a stranger or try to take their relationship to the next level by being open friends with him. What  Seunghyun meant when he said that  Jiyong was right about 'some things,' he had no idea which things those were. In fact, if anything,  Jiyong was even more confused and conflicted about the man that has now, more or less, ended up consuming a majority of his thoughts since he met him a week ago. But for right now,  Jiyong would live. He would do better than that even; he would wait impatiently for tomorrow, when he could stuff his mouth and his belly and try to make new friends and hope that maybe things would be a bit clearer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the story keeps rolling. Thanks for the kudos and comments so far, I always like reading them, they make my day, and they help me have the motivation and confidence to keep writing!


	7. Breakfast at Gun's

Sunlight streamed through the window in Jiyong's room, there was the pleasant sound of birds chirping and the fragrance of the plug in air freshener he bought to make the old, stuffy apartment smell a bit more fresh. He didn't get allergies all too often but because of how littered with dust the room was, he had been sneezing so frequently his abdomen started to have pains. This morning was the most comfortable he had been in a long while, except there was one thing.

"Seungri, get  _ off _ of me!"  Jiyong wheezed, squirming under the younger boy's weight. "I can't,  _ ugh_, breathe."

Seungri , unperturbed by his friend's inability to breathe, kept snoozing away like he had not a care in the world.

Jiyong groaned and tried to shimmy his way out from under the body, but  Seungri was dead weight on him, it was useless. "Seungri, really, I need you to get up."

Seungri groaned but finally rolled so that he was no longer crushing the older boy. "Jiyong, you're so weak."

"Shut up, it never bothered anybody before. No one ever tried to  _ crush me _ before."  Jiyong said with as much sarcasm that he could muster after having just been so rudely awakened. "What are you even doing here?"

"Why would you even ask me that?"  Seungri frowned, not even bothering to open his eyes. "Youngbae would never ask me that."

"That's because  Youngbae sleeps like the dead and probably wouldn't even notice that you were on top of him anyway. Which, is not a good quality in a bodyguard by the way."

Seungri gave a noncommittal sound. "You may be right. He has gotten considerably lazier since we've gotten to the states."

"Or he just doesn't care anymore."   


"I hate you."

Jiyong grinned, watching as  Seungri's breathing began to slow down. He couldn't have that. "Nope, you're not going back to sleep now that I'm wide awake."

"You're the devil."

"No one told you to come in here and sit on me."

Seungri groaned and uttered some very choice words at  Jiyong before he finally sat up a little more, his head falling to the side every once in a while to stay awake.  Jiyong sighed and pinched his side, making him jump. "Ouch! I'm up, aren't I?" He sat up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "You're kind of bitchy in the morning."

Jiyong ignored him and rested his head on the younger boy's shoulder. "What are you doing here?"

"Youngbae woke me up at, like, 9 in the morning to tell me to start getting ready. Apparently he and  Seunghyun chose today to be good tour guides. They said they wanted to get an early start so we could see the city and stuff. He told me to come here and wake you up." He paused and  Jiyong felt his body relax completely underneath his head. "But we had such a late night last night and I was so  _ tired_."

"9 o'clock?"  Jiyong asked, searching for his phone that was hidden somewhere underneath all the blankets. When he finally found it, he looked at the time and his eyes widened. "It's noon!" He shrieked, turning to face  Seungri. "You let me sleep for three more hours?" He yelled.

Seungri looked genuinely surprised. "Wow, I guess I did." He scratched his head and settled back down into the sheets. "And I could use an hour more sleep, give or take."

Jiyong got up from the bed and tossed a pillow aimed at  Seungri 's head. "Shut up, we're going shopping, don't even try to act like you would rather sleep because I know you."  Seungri peeked an eye out from under the pillow he was still under and  Jiyong knew that he already won the boy over. "Now hurry up, I don't want to keep them waiting."

"Definitely bitchy."  Seungri said one last time as he rolled over.

The shoe that met the back of his head nearly gave him a migraine.

\---

Despite  Jiyong' s rush to get ready and drag  Seungri out of the room, they were still met with disapproving and bored eyes when they made their way downstairs into the flower shop.

"I thought you two were eager to go out into the city?"  Youngbae complained from his place at the counter, his face squished between his two hands.

Jiyong tried to smile in a way that showed guilt but instead probably looked all too amused. "Yeah, we are, but sleep is also something we're really eager about."  Seungri grinned at him as a way of thanks for not ratting him out.  Jiyong was a wonderful friend.

"Can we get breakfast? I'm so hungry I feel like I'm starving."  Seungri whined,  Jiyong nodding his head in agreement.

Youngbae scoffed and shook his head. "Breakfast was two and a half hours ago. We had pancakes."

"With bananas and strawberries on them,"  Seunghyun nodded from his place perched on the windowsill, underlying amusement on his face.

Jiyong 's mouth fell open and his stomach gave away of how sad he actually was by this information. "You guys ate without us? Aren't you supposed to keep us safe?"

Youngbae scoffed, "Does it look like you're in danger now?"

"Starvation is definitely a danger."

"It's a little past noon, not 9 at night. I have a feeling you'll live. And did you actually think we were just going to sit on our hands waiting for you? Three hours,  Jiyong!"

Jiyong frowned and glared at Seungri, and at least the other boy was decent enough to look a little guilty. They sighed and shuffled on their feet, completely jealous that they had missed out on eating. "Where'd you even get the pancakes anyway?"

"Turns out I'm not completely useless when it comes to food."  Youngbae shrugged as he and  Seunghyun were putting their jackets on. "At least when it comes to breakfast."

"It came from a package."  Seunghyun said, ratting out the other bodyguard. "You're still shit at cooking."  Youngbae scoffed and elbowed the older man in the side.  Seunghyun blew out a breath and laughed as he recovered, rubbing the sore spot. "Don't be a dick."

Jiyong looked at the older man, still feeling surprised to see another side of Seunghyun that wasn't completely professional. It was something to get used to, Seunghyun being more open in the presence of them (namely  Jiyong), even if it was only directed at  Youngbae. Since the day  Jiyong told  Seunghyun off and  he retaliated, giving as good as he got, things have been better. The still quite infrequent times they saw each other were less tense, and both of them seemed to try to make the other feel more comfortable, rather that came in the form of being patient, giving the other space, or actively trying to decrease the amount of space between them.  Jiyong noticed the difference and was touched either way, greatly appreciating the effort. He couldn't speak for  Seunghyun and say he did too, but less and less did he see the guarded up posture that came whenever  Jiyong entered the room. Things were becoming more natural, at a much slower pace than maybe  Jiyong was expecting, but really, there was no ending in sight for his stay here. Needless to say, he had loads of time.

Jiyong watched as his younger friend and his bodyguard walked out of the store, Seungri throwing out suggestions for what else he should cook, preferably when they are around to actually eat it. He chuckled when he noticed that he was being left behind, the two seeming to figure that  Jiyong and  Seunghyun would just follow them.

Jiyong looked up at  Seunghyun. Their eyes met, and  Jiyong was taken aback when they did, feeling a surge of something he couldn't really name shoot down his spine. He tried to shake off the feeling, now was not the time to start acting weird.  Seunghyun quickly gestured with his arms  _ you first_, so  Jiyong exited the shop.

He wasn't exactly sure how to act. He was used to tough love in his family so he didn't feel the need to nurse the ego that was pelted yesterday, but there were many lines of confusion with this man.

"So,"  Jiyong began, not wanting to wait out  Seunghyun to see who would talk first, "this place is for lunch, right? What do you-"

"I'm sorry for yesterday."  Jiyong almost missed a step from  Seunghyun 's impromptu second, maybe even third, apology.

Jiyong swallowed. "You already did that. I know, I forgive you."

He let his eyes wander away from the older man as a distraction, catching sight of  Youngbae and  Seungri walking ahead of them,  Seungri not willing to leave an inch between the two.  Jiyong knows where this came from; from the years of being kept inside and told that his life would surely end if he were to step out into the world. It was the same thing  his own father told him.  Seungri, despite the fact that he somehow found the confidence that belonged to the son of a King and not one of a Mobster growing up,  wasn't put into a private institution like  Jiyong, he was home schooled. Of course, he was given the very best and most trusted instructors that  Kyunghee could get, but he was sheltered from the outside world in this way.  Seungri only met the people that his father invited over and although he has met the children of other Families, he hasn't met anybody outside of the Mafia for a long length of time.  Jiyong isn't sure if that's good or bad, based on his own experiences.

"I said sorry, too. I can say it again, I'm sorry. See? There."  Jiyong said in a flippant sort of way, wanting to ease out of the tension-ridden atmosphere between he and Seunghyun. It was always around, and it was frustrating that he couldn't shake it. He met the older man's eyes and knew his cheeks were a little red, knew that his eyes should be calm and hold  Seunghyun's gaze, but he can't help but avert his eyes to the ground.

Seunghyun cleared his throat. "This is a little awkward, huh?" he chuckled and kept his hands behind his back. "I guess we're both pretty bad at talking to people- ah, I'm sorry."

Jiyong's lips pulled up, just about to respond that it's okay, he didn't mind, but was interrupted by the little shit that he called his best friend. The younger had caught on to that comment like fish hanging from a line of bait and skipped back a few steps, nudging his way in between them.

"Oh, don't worry,  Jiyong is sometimes like this. Either welcoming or standoffish, too strong or disinterested? You're either scared or a fan. It just takes  him a little time to get used to people-" the look that  Jiyong gave him stopped him in his tracks before he could elaborate any further. Well, that and the elbow that was jammed into his side.   


"I'm fine."  Jiyong said, wishing that  Seungri would just  _ get out of here_, and besides, it was true.  Jiyong was fine. He was never  _ bad _ with people. It was his family that got in the way, the reputation that surrounded him like his own personal  cartoon cloud that only poured onto him, effectively keeping people away and rained loneliness to the target underneath. This was different, and he didn't know why.  Seunghyun wasn't just anybody else, not to  Jiyong at least.

"Then why are you acting awkward?"  Seungri asked.  Jiyong hoped that that question was important to him, because that may just be the last thing he will ever say, after  Jiyong is done with him.

Seunghyun cleared his throat. "No one is awkward, we're good. My fault." He said, arms raised in surrender. Then he turned his head away from  Seungri and  Jiyong once again found all of  Seunghyun's attention on him, this time a grin was on his face and his eyes looked sincere as he pushed  Seungri out of the way and shuffled that much closer to  Jiyong. "Let's play a game of ignore the dongsaeng. I'll start.  Jiyong, I hear this weird buzzing in my ears. Can you talk louder?"

Seungri blanched and started talking louder for no other reason than because he's an idiot, telling Youngbae to  _ defend me!  _ and lecturing  Jiyong about being  a good friend.  Jiyong just grinned back at  Seunghyun and nodded his head. "Yeah! No problem, I was just thinking, I'm starving, so how about you recommend me something to eat? And can you speak up, I think the buzzing is getting louder!"

\---

Jiyong was greeted by the sound of soft instrumental music as soon as the small group walked in through the door of the restaurant. He took a deep breath and immediately felt himself relax just a bit. This restaurant that  Youngbae and  Seunghyun have been boasting about for weeks actually seemed to be a Korean restaurant and even Seungri, who had been pouting more than required since  Seunghyun 's joke, seemed to leave that behind so he can bombard  Youngbae with questions about authenticity and his favorite dishes.

Jiyong took a minute to look around and saw all kinds of cliché, watery phrases and overused symbols and quotes hanging on the walls in the form of decorations, but he didn't care, not one bit.

"We're in the United States and you take us to a Korean restaurant,"  Jiyong directed at  Seunghyun. "I don't know if that is really sweet or really corny."

"As long as it's not boring." He chuckled, already leaning over to look at the food displayed on the counter. "We thought that it could help, the whole familiarity of it. I was worried about your transition... especially with everything that was going on." he said sheepishly.

"Help?"  Jiyong mused.  Seunghyun wanted to help him do what?

"Help with the homesickness. I'm sure, maybe, you miss your family? Or miss home?"  Seunghyun asked, and Jiyong noticed that  Seunghyun says 'home' like he knows it too, like he feels the same way about the small place they had fled from not long ago.

"Yeah, I mean, I have to, don't I?" He ran his finger absentmindedly over the menu he picked up with the words Gun's Korean Cuisine on top, recognizing almost every dish and smiling when he saw a few of his favorites. "I've never been away from home, not even overnight except for the few nights at  Seungri's house. What about you? Do you miss home?" He wanted to ask where home was, who lived there, why he was so willing to travel to a distant country just as a favor to his dad. The urge to acquire new information about the older man was so strong that he feels almost impatient waiting for his answer.

Seunghyun blew out a breath and folded his arms across his chest, seeming to be preoccupied with checking out the food.  Jiyong really wondered if it was that hard for  Seunghyun just giving him any personal information at all. He's hit with a resurgence of curiosity; how did  Seunghyun get like this? Why is he like this? Will it always be this way?

"I don't know if I miss it."  Seunghyun replied, thankfully not dropping the conversation. "I'm happy to be here."

"Like a good soldier, right?"  Youngbae smiled, once again breaking the two-person conversation that  Jiyong had worked hard in initiating.  Youngbae had said it like a joke and  Seunghyun rolled his eyes like he's exasperated but fond and  Jiyong has never wanted to be on the inside of an interaction more than now.

"A good soldier for my father?" He asked, because he's wondering why his father's opinions and orders are so important to him. He pretends like it was on off-handed comment, turning around and looking at the food that caught  Seunghyun's eye earlier, his mouth watering trying to decide what he wants to order that isn't  _everything_.

Out of his peripheral vision, he saw  Seunghyun shake his head. "It's not important."

Jiyong had planned to press for more information, but didn't get to, as it turned out. And to be honest, he doesn't really care at the moment, not when he suddenly feels  Seunghyun's arm come around his waist, a little too tight and a little too urgent to be anything but a sign of protection, and is being pushed to the older man's other side to get away from the hotplate of  bulgogi that was seconds away from burning the side of his face.

The grip he has is tight, and  Jiyong is still able to think, even during such an inappropriate time, that this was the first time that  Seunghyun ever touched him aside from accidental brushes of skin.  Jiyong should thank him, he knows that, but when he looks up Seunghyun is already looking down, making sure that  Jiyong remained unhurt, throwing the younger boy off guard. Finally  Seunghyun looks at him, actually looks at him, and  Jiyong still can't get his mind to think properly.

Seungri decided that now was an ample time to break the moment.

"Wow hyung," he said with a whistle, "thank God you saved him from the big scary plate."

Jiyong unwound  Seunghyun's arm from himself and turned around, defensive and a little peeved at  Seungri from not assessing the situation like he should be able to. "It was a hotplate, genius. It was going to hit me in the face, I could have gotten  seriously burned, as in rushed to the hospital in an ambulance."

Seungri's face flushed in embarrassment, "I'm sorry, I really didn't know." He turned back to  Seunghyun, "Sorry hyung."

"This is why you can't watch out for anyone."  Youngbae commented, leading  Seungri away to look at more food, and away from the scolding  Jiyong could probably give him for his naivety. "You can't even watch out for yourself!"

Seungri's mood doesn't stay down for long, already elbowing  Youngbae to get him off of him. "Shut up, glorified babysitter."  Jiyong can hear  Youngbae faux yelling at his friend, telling him about respect.

Jiyong turns away and is only now aware of all the commotion going on from the man carrying the bulgogi. His face was contorted in worry, eyebrows up high and his body was loose clumsy bowing.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry! I saw Youngbae and  Seunghyun and was coming over to say hi and I wasn't paying attention! I am so sorry!"

Jiyong waved him off, heart still beating in his chest. For a second, he had really thought he was in some sort of danger. He looked up at the man he should be thanking by now, not in the least surprised to see that he was already looking at him. "Thanks,  Seunghyun."

Seunghyun shook his head, "I'm just glad you didn't get hurt. A hospital visit could have ruined the mood."

"Yeah, it would've."  Jiyong laughed, looking at his feet and back up with his guard. "You know him?" he asked, referring to the still-spluttering man beside them.

Seunghyun released a loud sigh, hands on hips, and nodded his head. "I do." he turned to the man in question. "My God, Daesung, is this your first day or something?" he joked.

The man, Daesung, took a quick look around the restaurant and then finally deemed it safe enough to flip  Seunghyun off. "Shut up, I don't usually carry the food. Washing dishes was so much easier."

Seunghyun chuckled. "Well congrats on the promotion."

"I hate promotions, I was happy where I was." Daesung pouted.

"Hopefully you were better where you were, too."  Jiyong spoke. Daesung turned to him quickly, mid-bow, but saw the smile on his face and relaxed. "Believe me, I was. But they say I look like a 'people person' so here I am."

"But you  _ are _ a people person."  Seunghyun said.

Daesung rolled his eyes. "I'd be much more of a people person if I didn't try burning or spilling water on every customer I meet." he muttered. "Look, I got to go or else this skillet is going to end up burning through the glove." He waved himself off, nearly falling over a pushed out chair.  Jiyong winced, God-speed with that one, he needed it.

Jiyong turned to  Seunghyun. "Nice guy." he laughed.

Seunghyun smiled and shook his head in earnest. "Yeah no, he really is. When he's not burning your face off, he's much better. You'll love him."

Jiyong hummed.  Seunghyun didn't seem to have trouble making friends outside of his obligation as a body guard. He tried not to let the thought squash his good mood. "Well, hopefully we'll see each other outside of the restaurant where there are no hot plates available to do that."

Seunghyun smiled. "Yeah, I can see why you'd want that."

The loud calls from  Seungri took them out of their conversation, heads snapping to the table where the younger one was out of his seat, waving them over to the opposite end of the restaurant while  Youngbae watched him in amusement.  Jiyong sighed. "Come on, let's go over there before he gets all of us kicked out from the noise."

Seunghyun chuckled alongside him. "One of the employees almost got you put in an ambulance, I think it's fair to say that we'll probably be going home with a free meal."

"Good! One less dinner of eating  Youngbae 's nasty sandwiches."  Jiyong grinned, taking his time browsing the designs on the walls.

"If you ever get tired of sandwiches - and I don't want to brag - but I can make some magic out of packaged ramen."

"What, is there a special way to boil the water? Or maybe it's the technique of pouring in the sauce?" the younger man joked.

"Laugh all you want, but so far no one has suspected that it's from a box."  Seunghyun laughed, and  Jiyong 's eyes immediately caught sight of the dimples on his face. "You'll see, it's no joke!"

Jiyong halted his walk to the table and turned to face the older man. "Is that an invitation?" He asked, raising an eyebrow, smirk placed firmly on his face.

It was supposed to be a joke, a way of accepting to hang out, but the delivery is somehow wrong, though he didn't exactly know why.  Jiyong only notices it when  Seunghyun's smile drops the tiniest bit, but it's enough for the dimples to recede.  Jiyong wished he could take it back.

Seunghyun looked over his shoulder and walked ahead, "Come on,  Seungri really is going to fall out of the chair if we don't hurry."

Jiyong followed and tried to push down the odd feeling in his stomach. It's not like this was the first time that  Jiyong said something that managed to completely flip the other man's mood. Sooner or later,  Jiyong declared in his head as he pulled up a chair, he was going to learn how to stop doing that.

"Hyung!"  Seungri gushed, grabbing a hold of his arm. "Did you know that there is a college close to here? It's a community college, we could take classes there! I've never been to a school before." He told  Seunghyun and  Youngbae, noticing their widened eyes at his excitement for higher education. "We should check it out sometime. You would want to go back to school, right?" He asked his friend.

Jiyong furrowed his eyebrows. "I don't know... I'm not really sure." he confessed.  It's not like he hasn't thought about it since he moved here, when the day was over and he's lying on his bed. What to do with all this time he has on his hands?

He knew that he didn't really  _ need _ to go back to school; the money that his father arranged for him to have was enough for him to live a comfortable life, less lavish than the one back home, but it was enough. That, and the fact that the flower shop would allow him to make good spending money, he didn't really need a profession in his life, and he wasn't sure if he really wanted one. School was always a safe haven for him back home, like a blanket he could wrap around himself, covering him of his skin and scars and taking his mind off of his reality. The topic wasn't completely off the table, but Jiyong didn't really think that he needed it anymore. For the moment,  Jiyong was pretty content where he was. He's traveled farther than he ever thought he would be able to, more independent than he was ever previously allowed, and is making a huge effort to make himself feel at home here. He didn't need the coping mechanisms he had back in Korea, he could find out for himself the path he wanted to take.

Youngbae looked at the pensive expression on  Jiyong's face and knocked  Seungri on the shoulder. "Look, you broke him!"

Seungri yelped and touched his shoulder. "Hey! I swear if you keep punching me like this I am going to hire  Seunghyun to protect me from  _ you_."

Seunghyun rolled his eyes. "Can you be any louder?" He murmured, eyes automatically moving around the restaurant, looking for any signs of eavesdroppers.  Jiyong smiled, looking away when  Seunghyun's eyes moved to him. Glad to know  Seunghyun was still on the ball, though as unwarranted and paranoid as it may be.

"Anyway," Youngbae continued, waving over Daesung to signal they were ready to order. "You guys still have a lot of time to decide all that. America is... stressful, but it's full of possibilities. This is just the beginning, sooner or later you guys can think about going back to school, or maybe moving somewhere else, if you feel like it, you know we don't have to stay here forever. You can start dating, get married..."

"Who is getting married?" Daesung asked, appearing at the table to take their orders, which was great, since  Jiyong was going to start salivating at any minute now. The smell was just too appetizing in this place.

"No one,"  Jiyong answered. "Not for a  _ really _ long time."

Seungri agreed wholeheartedly, ripping the menu's out of their hands and began to order the food they had decided on.

Dating, unlike school, was a whole other can of worms that  Jiyong hasn't even allowed himself to think about opening. Of course he'd once had those dreams and fantasies back in Korea, but as he grew up, he realized it was such an impossibility for him that he never gave himself time for it, or hope for it, any longer.

Was there any hope now? He tried to stay neutral and assess his chances, just like how he was always taught to handle problems by his father and his associates, but  _ feelings _ were so much different. Feelings were wildcards, they were little monsters without their own kryptonite, little fleas biting at all rational thought. No one ever told him how to deal with feelings, apart from the  _ great advice _he was told when he was twelve, that it was just easier not to have them at all.

Really, when he thought about it, he had virtually no experience, no conversations or history to guide him in the realm of dating. He knew TV shows and their dramatized and perfectly packaged plots, he's seen his parents' relationship (the closest thing to a healthy, goal-achieving coupling he's ever seen in his lifetime), but he's never considered anything for himself specifically. Even when his dad had thrown out comments to try to push him towards Chaerin, the picture perfect candidate if there ever was one, it was based on Family needs; who would be a good successor for his parents and a good wife for the new-Head.

He didn't know the first thing about dating, but he did know he wanted it. He wanted to wrap his arms around somebody, have somebody wrap their arms around him. He wanted to protect and be protected, wanted to love and be loved.

He sighed in frustration, lost in thought, barely even noticing that the food and supplies for cooking it was being served right in front of him, and turned his head to  Seungri. Was he stressing about all of this like he was? He was just about as inexperienced as  Jiyong was, if not more so since at least  Jiyong got the opportunity to be enrolled in school. But it was hard to believe that the younger man was torturing himself over it, he thought as he watched him.  Seungri was anything but unsure. Yes, he had his lapses in confidence, but that came about from years of conditioning and competing for a title he never wanted and would never receive. On his own, he was fine. With Jiyong, he was fine. With  Youngbae,  Jiyong mused as he watched  Youngbae steal pieces of meat off the younger's plate, dodging the combative hand sent his way, he was better.

Jiyong turned his head and looked at  Seunghyun. He's here, and until the unforeseen future, he's not going anywhere. It was going to be very hard for  Seunghyun to have any kind of social life for a while, and  Jiyong found himself again feeling totally in debt to this man that has sacrificed so much to make it his mission to protect  Jiyong with his life. But the older man was going to have his own life eventually. Did he think about this too?

Jiyong couldn't really tell the kind of person  Seunghyun would go for, who he would be attracted to. It may be because he didn't really know the older man himself. If he couldn't pinpoint his personality, how would he be able to guess his perfect counterpart?

"What about you,  Seunghyun?"  Jiyong asked, realizing a beat too late that the conversation had switched entirely, no longer about social life and now on the topic of the food in front of them.

"What about me, what?"  Seunghyun asked, chopsticks halfway to his mouth.

Jiyong's cheeks turned a faint shade of red. "Sorry, I thought... I meant to ask what your favorite food was?" He said instead, and immediately wanted to hit himself on the head. Of course he already knew that,  Seunghyun had told him that the day they first met.

And it seemed like  Seunghyun wasn't going to fail in reminding him of that fact. "Yanggeng. I already told you that, didn't I?"

Jiyong blew a breath, trying to look like he was recalling a memory. "Oh yeah, I think I remember that, my bad."

Youngbae and Seunghyun bought it easily enough, either that or they thought that the food was more valuable than trying to figure out why he was acting so strange all of a sudden. But  Seungri was his best friend, and the odd look that he gave Jiyong was enough to tell him that he knew he had zoned out.

Jiyong shrugged, tapping his head in an  _ I don't even know _ sort of way, trying to convey that it wasn't a big deal. And really, it wasn't. It was a question that he was just curious about, and probably had no business asking anyway.  Seunghyun was short at the best of times and painstakingly private at his usual. If he would have asked he probably would've gotten a shrug, maybe a vague description with little detail at most.

It was none of Jiyong's business. It was still a nagging curiosity, but none of his business all the same.

He shook his head and watched as the food was being eaten without him. He picked up his set of chopsticks and scooped up a heaping pile of rice into his bowl, then gave himself a larger than generous serving of meat to go along with it.

"God, do you always eat like a monster or is it just today?" Youngbae called, suddenly finding that portion equality was the most pressing issue of the moment, despite stealing a quarter of Seungri's food not a couple minutes earlier.

"I know, try living with him. He's like a dumpster, eating all the leftovers and stuff. Or maybe a blackhole since we don't know where it all goes." He teased and pinched  Jiyong's hipbone. "See! So skinny!"

Jiyong laughed and knocked his friend on the head, not feeling any remorse at the loud  _ ouch! _ that followed.

"You're right, guys. He has gotten more disrespectful since coming here." He told Seunghyun and Youngbae in mock whisper.

"Totally." Seunghyun agreed.

"He treats me the worst." Youngbae said pitifully, wiping away a stray and nonexistent tear.

Seungri huffed and went about his routine, complaining and moaning about mean friends and the audacity they had for talking behind his back.  Jiyong laughed behind his hand and caught Seunghyun's eye.

' _Drama queen_.'  He mouthed.  Jiyong stifled his giggle and nodded in agreement.

He didn't give the question another thought that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support, kudos, and comments for this fic. This is the first one that I have written that is not a one short or part of a short series. It's really nice to slow down and let the characters kind of develop themselves. So thank you! As always the format sucks and AO3 drives me crazy but one day I will be able to post without weird spaces in places they're not supposed to be. Hopefully.


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